1992 Headman

1992 Headman

There’s a lot you can say about “The War on Drugs” in hindsight. It was a huge propaganda push, and really an old corporate virtue-signal that amounted to good PR for toy companies, cartoons and video games. Though, kind of like with Eco Warriors (GI Joe was really preachy there for a few years), it’s a realistic part of modern warfare, and made for some pretty cool toys. Most of what you see going on with Headman is more on the extremely cool end, and only a little corny.

First, it should be said that Headman’s appearance more so than any other GI Joe villain pulls from an iconic visage that strikes fear into the hearts of many:

The suspicious man from neighborhood watch signs! Jokes aside, the corniest thing about Headman is that he wears a bandit mask and a silly little hat. The head sculpt itself is high-quality and has that late-ARAH sharpness that often goes underappreciated, but it looks super silly. I think they purposely tried to make his head look a little sillier, since if he looked like his DIC design, this would be a pretty drab figure of a guy in a suit (though, that probably would’ve been cooler).

The suit sculpt is really nice too. Hasbro’s later releases of Tomax and Xamot, as well as ‘04 General Flagg show how this mold had a lot of potential in it. A lot of later repaints didn’t look so good with 80‘s figures because of the sculpting changes that occurred between the beginning and end of ARAH, though I feel Headman is subtle enough that he doesn’t look so weird with some sculpts that are a few years older than his.

Headman’s suit is lined with gold pin-stripes that are incredibly delicate. I love how it looks, but sadly getting a mint example is not the easiest thing to do. The figure pictured in this post is my brother’s childhood Headman, whose gold paint is almost entirely gone. I wanted my own figure of this guy for a while, but eBay grief and other purchases always kept that at bay. Other than that, Headman doesn’t have much going on for painted details. The ’02 release shows off the sculpt better, though that comes at the cost of him being orange.

For parts, Headman included a G11 rifle, a free-standing rocket launcher, missile and a figure stand. The rocket launcher lights up like the other DEF launchers, which I always thought was a pretty cool gimmick, though I’m not sure there was really enough here to justify the higher price of DEF figures. Essentially including one launcher and a standard gun is pretty lacking when compared to the normal ARAH releases from the same year.

With that said, the rifle is pretty cool, and actually another great example of how much attention to detail was placed in GI Joe guns. For years I thought it was just some weird sci-fi contraption, but it’s actually H&K’s experimental G11 rifle. That gun has a long and interesting production history, but the point of it is that even in 1992, this would be a very unusual and very, very expensive gun to be toting around. It’s my assumption that it’s meant to reflect his tacky and posh nature as a drug kingpin, though that doesn’t explain why Battle Corps Mutt had it too. Oddly, the barrel area is more open than any G11 prototype I’ve seen, but maybe that’s a change that occurred once it became the filecard’s “mega-blast combat rifle”.

Getting a complete Headman is actually cheap and somewhat easy. Getting a mint Headman is a lot more challenging. A loose complete Headman in good condition tends to run around $20, but it takes a while to find one with even decent paint. Carded figures seem to float more around $50 at the moment. As is the case with much of Hasbro’s vintage gold and silver paint applications, it’s made of fairy-dust, and that’s bad for Headman since you essentially can’t touch the figure without rubbing it. Oddly though, there’s a lot more of Headman on eBay than I see for other figures (especially DEF ones), so I can only assume this guy was actually very popular back in ‘92.

1992 Headman Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

JoeADay

3D Joes

1993 Clutch (Mega Marines)

1993 Clutch (Mega Marines)

It’s often portrayed as a fixture of modern toys that Hasbro hammers the same classic characters from ‘82 to ‘86 over and over without end, though interestingly you really started to see Hasbro fall back on the classic ARAH cast as far back as ‘89. If you were introduced to GI Joe in ‘91, you could have a new toy for 8 of the first 13 Joes by ‘93. Mega Marines Clutch is among those updates, and like many of them, he’s a lot different from the original.

I think it’s not unfair to say Clutch is one of the most popular members of the ‘82 Joe lineup. He’s got a fun, likable personality and a real presence in the comics even after the point his toy was gone from store shelves. Speaking of the comics, I find it curious he was brought back rather prominently for a story arc that introduced us to Rock&Roll in his ‘89 costume. Perhaps Clutch had been on the drawing board at one point too, but didnt’ materialize. Skidmark and Hot Seat seem like they could pass for a new Clutch with a different head, but maybe that’s just me.

A new Clutch wouldn’t show up again until ‘93 in the Mega Marines. One could suppose with how different he looks that the figure became Clutch just as a lazy way for Hasbro to retain a trademark, though it’s pretty well in line with other characters that got redesigned up to that point. The redesign probably also seems a little more exaggerated just for the fact that now Clutch is a totally unique toy, and not some guy made from a small and repetitive library of parts.

Still, it’s a lot to take in. Clutch has gone from a nondescript bearded soldier to a clean-shaven guy in neon orange sci-fi armor. I feel like if he hadn’t been a Mega Marine, he’d have a little more identity of his own, but sadly this is a fairly homogeneous group of toys, so Clutch doesn’t stand out too much. I like his colors and the look of his outfit, but it’s very hard for me to see this as Clutch.

Clutch comes with almost the exact same accessories as Mega-Marines Gung-Ho and several other figures, which includes Muskrat’s shotgun and machete, Tracker’s MP5K, ‘91 Grunt’s rifle, a missile launcher, two missiles, stand and moldable bio-armor (playdoh and a mold for it). As generic parts, it’s an okay runner especially for being in black, but also pretty lame since it was used so much. At the very least, most of these weapons are realistic, easy to hold and look good, so having a surplus of them was a pretty okay thing.

You can get a mint complete Clutch for around $15, and he isn’t too hard to find. Sacrifice the generic accessories and you can save a few bucks, though overall they don’t seem to add much to his value either. As an obscurity this Clutch is a kind of neat figure, but I’m also pretty sure he’s no one’s favorite Clutch. He’s very 90‘s and looks decent in his own way, but also has nothing especially fun or unique going for him. In other words: he’s mediocre.

1993 Clutch (Mega Marines) Links:

Clutch Prototype at Forgotten Figures

JoeADay

3D Joes

Half the Battle

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol)

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about a New-Sculpt era figure, though as always I know only a very, very small contingent of people still care about these. The modern attitude towards these figures seems to almost represent toy collectors in a nutshell, where the newest, coolest thing renders the old thing obsolete, because the new thing is superior and caters to contemporary trends and interest, only to be made dated and obsolete by the next new thing, which is superior, modern and everything you wanted until the next new thing… It’s an unending cycle of consumerism. With GI Joe, it’s especially pronounced since virtually no part of the brand has had staying-power since ARAH.

Which sort of leads into me implying that the Spy Troops Tele-Viper is actually a fantastic and underrated sculpt . It’s not. The toy has terrible proportions and soft-sculpting to an extent that actually looks worse than the ‘85 Tele-Viper, which is 19 years older than it. His arms are a pair of logs, he has no waist, and the head’s sort of small. It all makes for a figure that looks cheaper than it should be, but there’s still some charm to be had here; just not in the sculpt.

As a toy, the Tele-Viper (in this case, Python Patrol Tele-Viper) is pretty fun. It’s mainly for his parts, which I’ll get to below, but the toy is still playable and has the same basic charms ARAH figures did in the 80‘s. Comparatively, there aren’t very many 1/18 scale figures that are as fun to fiddle with, even to this day. Most of what you see today is collector targeted, making it expensive, fragile, and typically rather drab. Among this figure’s contemporaries, there’s barely anything to make note of besides some crumby The Corps! figures. Spin Master makes the new DC/Batman figures, and those are probably the only modern things I can think of that compare pretty well as toys.

This Python Patrol Tele-Viper has my favorite version of the Python Patrol color-scheme. It’s mostly gray, with a black and red grid pattern on a few bits, and some gold. It’s very drab and muted, but the poopy adult in me thinks it looks pretty good. The prior Spy Troops release of the mold had some pretty punchy colors between the purple and the bright, contrasting details, so a more muted figure is welcome for the repaint.

gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003

His parts are actually cool! I feel like I spend my accessories paragraph typically bitching about Sound-Attack tabs, Rock-Viper rifles, random Ninja Force parts with 80‘s figures and other such problems, but this toy has some okay gear. Included is a microphone, a walkie-talkie, a shoulder radio, a Streetsweeper shotgun, and a pistol. The easily lost microphone feels like an unwanted flashback to every lost mic in the past, but it looks nice on the figure either way. The walkie-talkie is extremely small and not as fun as Firefly’s classic part, but again, it looks okay, and is much better with a figure that has smaller hands.

The Streetsweeper is particularly odd as an inclusion, though I love it and am very glad it exists. In real life this is a somewhat obscure and odd weapon from the 80‘s, originally sold in Rhodesia as the Striker. The Rhodesia tie especially makes this gun interesting to me, since that’s where Major Bludd’s wanted for war crimes. It was later simplified into the Streetsweeper, with several important features removed when it was sold in the US. Because it’s extremely shitty, it found a better life as a prop-gun for movies and the like. The details only seem okay on the GI Joe version of this gun, but it’s nicely scaled and not even too scary for vintage hands; in particular, I used to give it to Motor Vipers a lot as a weapon they could ride with.

You don’t see these left to open pricing so much, but when you do, the figure might fetch $7 at best. It took 90‘s Joes thirty years to present much value on the market, so I’ll be curious if anyone starts to miss Valor vs Venom by 2032. To be honest, I still don’t think there’s that much 90‘s nostalgia, so I’m very doubtful we’ll ever see interest return to these 00‘s sculpts. In a broader sense, most of the nostalgia-driven culture we see today is really just escapism from the bleak reality that is life in the post-millennium. If better times ever come, you’ll probably not see this to such an obnoxious extent.

gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003 gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003 gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol):

GeneralsJoesReborn

Half the Battle

Streetsweeper at Forgotten Weapons