1985 Rifle Range

1985 Rifle Range

A lost feature among modern action figures is the world building brought by small items like the Battle Field Accessories. These come across as being somewhere in between model accessories you might see Tamiya selling in 1/35, and similar accessory sets that were sold for the old 12-inchers. So, let’s try and hash out a few paragraphs about the the Cobra Rifle Range.

The Battle Field Accessories are pretty self explanatory, as is the case with the Rifle Range; it’s a small set with two targets, a sign, rifle rack, three guns, a barrier and two figure stands. The targets mount into some sandbags, and have a small gimmick where they can be flipped down. That’s about all there is to it, and while I don’t really feel like I have everything I need for a Cobra firing range (some ammo cans and a table might’ve helped), it’s still kind of amazing something like this ever existed now.

Of course, I see why the sub-line only lasted two years: truth be told, it’s a pretty boring item, especially for roughly the price of a figure. I wish stuff like this still existed, but you don’t really get all that much with the Rifle Range. The targets are flimsy and love falling down on their own, and the other accessories just seem somewhat bland. Even as a grown man who loves making little dioramas, I’ve hardly ever used these pieces just because they aren’t really all that much to toss around. The barrier doesn’t look that good, the sign doesn’t have much value, and while the gun-rack is pretty nice, you also only get one, which is pretty lame.

The guns kind of just seem like leftovers from an accessory pack. You get an Airborne rifle, Snow Job rifle and a Grunt M-16 in blue, which is pretty odd since both the boxart and packaging photo show an Officer’s AK-47 in place of the Airborne gun. A very similar gun can be found in Accessory Pack #2, so I guess if you wanted you could assemble your own “preproduction” version with that, though you wouldn’t have the tan figure stands.

It feels wrong for some reason to say this, but honestly I think half of what I have against this little set is just the fact that I like Power Team Elite (AKA: Click n’ Play) accessories a little more. There’s a cool and immersive feeling I get when I take photos of Joes only using their intended contemporary items, which is why my newer photos feature tons of bright, neon guns you used to never see. Using the Rifle Range however, really isn’t as easy as it should be. Part of that’s just because you don’t get enough with it, and another part of that is that is because I can’t disconnect from the notion that the guns would look like stand-ins for a poor person if I used them.

You can get a complete Cobra Rifle Range for $15, which isn’t bad for modern Joe pricing. In my experience, vying for a mint complete set more often feels somewhat impractical compared to just building a complete one out of a few lots and enjoying the extra accessories that come your way, but your mileage may vary. For what it is, I enjoy having it around, and I mildly feel like the Battlefield Accessories are required for the full 80‘s GI Joe experience, but it’s also not really the most dazzling of items.

gi joe battlefield accessories 1985 vintage figure hasbro scrap-iron

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Trooper Lenny has difficulty aiming at one meter, but within 26-inches he becomes deadly.

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1993 Beach-Head

1993 Beach-Head

I’ve always seen a lot of folks react pretty harshly to Beah-Head V2, and to be honest, I really don’t know why. 90‘s Joe had a lot of drastic redesigns, many of which I’m yet to have fully come around on. So having some disdain for the more outlandish V2 Firefly or Mega Marines Clutch makes some sense, but Beach-Head just seems like the kind of figure that still doesn’t get a fair shake.

The biggest thing the figure has going against it, is that he somehow looks a lot like Beachhead while at the same time, looking nothing that much like Beachhead. I have to use the dreaded i-word, but indeed, 1986 Beach Head is very iconic. There’s something about the masked Joes that seems a bit easier to get behind, perhaps their anonymity makes them a bit easier to identify with. Battle Corps Beach-Head doesn’t really change his look that significantly, but the popularity of his original design leaves people sensitive to change I think.

The figure looks really cool, he has what would’ve been a fairly modern helmet design, which combined with the bulkiness of his chest still resembles a fairly modern military operator. Of course, the lower half of the figure is just pulled from V1 Shockwave, but his legs were already great looking, so that does nothing to hold back this figure. The only thing I don’t like too much is the part of his chest under his vest: it’s really smooth and vague looking, and I was never really sure what the sculptors were going for with it. It’s a shame this sculpt never got any repaints, as I think this figure would look really, really good in some modern camo patterns.

In Brazil, they made the colors more saturated and released him with V2 Alley Viper weapons as Armadilha. This character was a Cobra, so with a little imagination you could feasibly pretend the American one’s a Cobra too. I see him as Beachhead, but if The Black Major made some rainbow colored repaints with Cobra markings all over them, I certainly wouldn’t mind that.

For some odd trivia, his legs are all miss-assembled; the left and right feet are swapped. For a long time, I thought this might’ve been an intentional creative choice to make the figure look a little different, but the card art shows his knife is supposed to be on his inner left leg, not his outer right leg. It’s weird, because the yellow-vest version and Armadilha both keep the assembly error. Then again, there’s a knife in the same spot on ‘86 Beach Head too, so maybe it was intentional and the card-art is wrong? No one probably knows anymore.

His accessories are fairly bland. You get a modified version of the Spearhead & Max rifle, a V1 Shockwave pistol, Recoil’s pistol contraption, a knife, a missile launcher and some missiles, plus a stand. Incredibly, the knife appears to be brand new for the 1993 part trees, though it wasn’t unique to this figure. It’s alright for what it is, though rest of the parts aren’t anything to write home about, especially not in bright yellow. The Spearhead rifle wasn’t reused to my memory outside of this, and completely removes the sling.

You can get a complete V2 Beach-Head for around $11, so by modern standards he’s pretty dang cheap. I usually see pricing as a partial reflection of a figure’s popularity, so I think it’s safe to say this Beach-Head isn’t too popular, though most of the non-repaint 1993 figures are kind of cheap like that. I think he’s an overlooked gem, but perhaps you guys can enlighten me on his flaws.

1993 Beach-head gi joe 1993 beach-head attack cruiser gi joejungle-quest_5731743553_o through-the-crevices_4899066275_o

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2003 Agent Faces

2003 Agent Faces

I don’t really understand the fascination collectoys used to have with mail-away figures. To my understanding, the Agent Faces mail-away was well done and met with a great amount of collector enthusiasm. I wouldn’t really know since I was 9 when it happened, but there seemed to be this residual sentiment by GI Joe fans when I started browsing the forums later of “DO A MAIL-IN JUST LIKE IN THE 80‘S!!!”, followed by the 25th Doc mail-in, which proved a disaster. Who likes jumping through more hoops just to get crap? I don’t, but apparently Agent Feces was the last good one, so here’s some sentences strung together about him, along with two old pictures as always.

2003 in some ways was the last best year for GI Joe. Say what you will about them, the Spy Troops toy line had a robust selection of characters, figures that were good enough, visual variety, fun gimmicks, and even fun little side-shows like Agent Faces to encourage more and more Joe purchases. It was a toy line that was still for kids, but after Valor vs Venom and Sigma 6 shit the bed, GI Joe has been strictly reduced to a line supported by the often fickle, nostalgic longings of old men. I could rant about the miserable progression from then till now, but the point is that Agent Faces feels like something that’s as far gone now as those beautiful aisles of an eighties TRU lined with GI Joe from front to back.

We tend to make these funny little mental barriers splitting up Joes by their construction, and often even release year. It makes this figure funny to me, since you could say that he’s meant to be interchangeable with the New Sculpt Agent Faces, even though this figure is made up of classic tooling. More over, he’s made up from both 1985 sculpting (Crimson Guard), 1992 sculpting (Duke and DEF Shockwave), and the newly sculpted helmet from 2003. The parts look mildly mismatched, but as someone who invents weird rules for my photos and collecting, I find a lot of amusement in the stuff that completely turns that on it’s head.

Do the 2000‘s Crimson Guards really get a fair shake from most of us Joe aficionados these days? Seems like “Black Major did them better.” and “V1 is still the best.” is the general notion I see, typically with this figure being used as a case study for why removable helmets don’t really work out so well. I say that because I tend to think all of those things, but Agent Faces does good to remind me of the childlike value of a gimmick. Sure it looks worse, but isn’t it more fun? I find room to forgive the odd looks of the helmet just for enhancing the play value. The Duke biceps that limit his articulation less so, but at least this version has a slightly better head than the normal Segies.

His paint job is decent. There’s no arm patches like the original had, which cheapens the look of the figure. Though, I do think the dark gold trim and buttons nicely differentiate this figure from the original, without looking bad. The main thing I don’t like is the orange Cobra patch on his chest. They did this color with the Infantry Forces too, and it doesn’t look too good. A metallic emblem looks much better, like with the Crimson Guard Force set, but orange was something they were trying out… for some reason.

Besides his helmet, Agent Faces comes with a Franchi SPAS-12 shotgun. Why? I have no clue. Hasbro seemed to have decided that this shotgun was the standard arms of the Crimson Guard, as the Operation Crimson Sabotage guys all came with one too. The later TRU set swapped it for a generic M4. Never really was sure what to think about that, but the M4 is probably a better replacement for their classic carbines as opposed to these somewhat random shotguns. Oh, and as for the helmet: it’s really big and doesn’t fit on the reused Duke head too well.

Mail-Away Agent Faces don’t show up for auction that much, but you can get the complete figure, usually still in his original bag for around $14. In 2024 money, that’s cheap entertainment, though it still feels like a lot to pay for a repaint-era figure. Though, I think Agent Faces is especially worth having, as he has the added novelty of being a new character, as opposed to doofy take on the Crimson Guard that doesn’t look as good as the original.

2003 CAT II gi joe

2003 agent faces gi joe

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1991 Cesspool

1991 Cesspool

cesspoolI’d argue that the named Cobras of the 90‘s are right up there with the greats of 1984, or at least very close in quality. To me, Cesspool and Interrogator are easily on par with Copperhead and Wild Weasel, and the only real problem with 90‘s Cobras is you only got about two or so new ones a year. Still, the new guys for 1991 are both very good, and here’s some elongated rant on that.

Character wise, Cesspool is preeeeetty corny. Overall, I’d say he’s actually way cornier than Headman in many respects, but it’s the solid character design that elevates him over the other. Don’t get me wrong either way, because I quite like Headman, and I also quite dislike CEO’s, but Cesspool’s just… Stupid? The characterization early on for someone like Zartan or Firefly seemed a lot more intriguing or tangible, whereas Cesspool feels more on the Dr. Robotnik/Rita Repulsa silly end; way more of a caricature.

At face value anyways, the idea of scarred, psychotic former CEO joining with Cobra has some interesting prospects. Mr. D’Alleva would probably have plenty of dirty business ties and blackmail that would put him higher up in the late Cobra hierarchy, which again, is a pretty small club. Focusing on his unscrupulous business smarts makes the character a bit more interesting to me, and also gives him some purpose beyond “Toxo-Viper column decoration”.

The design and sculpt on Cesspool is where he shines. Most prominently is the giant Cobra design on his shirt, which was surprisingly a design motif they hadn’t tapped until this figure. Then there’s his head: the scarring on his face and dead eye is both very sharp and very cool for just how gruesome it is. The rest of the figure strikes me as more of a par for the course Cobra super-villain kind of look, but the detailing is sharp all throughout. The only thing I really don’t like, is the gold plastic used for his right arm, which will probably be prone to crumbling sooner or later.

His accessories suck for the most part. You get the requisite Eco-Warriors water-pack, a gold chain-saw and a gold helmet, with a tiny and easily lost respirator. Worth noting that while similar to the squirt-gun included with Flint, Barbecue and Ozone, Cesspool’s is a unique sculpt. Still, it’s just like those in terms of being cumbersome are difficult for the figure to hold. Would’ve been way nicer if his parts were more consistent with the Sludge Viper and Toxo Viper, but oh well. The chainsaw’s okay, but not really integral to the figure. Finally, his helmet is pretty cool actually, it has a nice design and ignoring the issue with the respirator, it looks fairly well done. Why use it though? Cesspool is almost never shown with his helmet, and the head-sculpt is too cool to cover up. So most of his accessories are the kind of thing you toss in a bin and only keep around for the sake of knowing you have them.

The little respirator pushes a complete Cesspool up towards $40. Sans that, you can get one with the rest of his accessories for $15. Reproduction respirators are out there, which is both an option for “completing” your figure, but also something to scrutinize when buying a figure advertised as complete. For the all the praise I can heap onto Cesspool, it’s hard to say he feels like he’s worth as much as a decent V1 Zartan (last time I checked). Amusingly though, eBay prices are a pretty good indicator of the collecting consensus on any given figure, so I guess going by that Cesspool’s an A-tier Cobra.

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