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About mwnekoman

Blogger, toy collector, balding, lactose intolerant. I think that's an excellent description of myself.

1991 Cesspool

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1991 Cesspool

cesspoolI’d argue that the named Cobras of the 90‘s are right up there with the greats of 1984, or at least very close in quality. To me, Cesspool and Interrogator are easily on par with Copperhead and Wild Weasel, and the only real problem with 90‘s Cobras is you only got about two or so new ones a year. Still, the new guys for 1991 are both very good, and here’s some elongated rant on that.

Character wise, Cesspool is preeeeetty corny. Overall, I’d say he’s actually way cornier than Headman in many respects, but it’s the solid character design that elevates him over the other. Don’t get me wrong either way, because I quite like Headman, and I also quite dislike CEO’s, but Cesspool’s just… Stupid? The characterization early on for someone like Zartan or Firefly seemed a lot more intriguing or tangible, whereas Cesspool feels more on the Dr. Robotnik/Rita Repulsa silly end; way more of a caricature.

At face value anyways, the idea of scarred, psychotic former CEO joining with Cobra has some interesting prospects. Mr. D’Alleva would probably have plenty of dirty business ties and blackmail that would put him higher up in the late Cobra hierarchy, which again, is a pretty small club. Focusing on his unscrupulous business smarts makes the character a bit more interesting to me, and also gives him some purpose beyond “Toxo-Viper column decoration”.

The design and sculpt on Cesspool is where he shines. Most prominently is the giant Cobra design on his shirt, which was surprisingly a design motif they hadn’t tapped until this figure. Then there’s his head: the scarring on his face and dead eye is both very sharp and very cool for just how gruesome it is. The rest of the figure strikes me as more of a par for the course Cobra super-villain kind of look, but the detailing is sharp all throughout. The only thing I really don’t like, is the gold plastic used for his right arm, which will probably be prone to crumbling sooner or later.

His accessories suck for the most part. You get the requisite Eco-Warriors water-pack, a gold chain-saw and a gold helmet, with a tiny and easily lost respirator. Worth noting that while similar to the squirt-gun included with Flint, Barbecue and Ozone, Cesspool’s is a unique sculpt. Still, it’s just like those in terms of being cumbersome are difficult for the figure to hold. Would’ve been way nicer if his parts were more consistent with the Sludge Viper and Toxo Viper, but oh well. The chainsaw’s okay, but not really integral to the figure. Finally, his helmet is pretty cool actually, it has a nice design and ignoring the issue with the respirator, it looks fairly well done. Why use it though? Cesspool is almost never shown with his helmet, and the head-sculpt is too cool to cover up. So most of his accessories are the kind of thing you toss in a bin and only keep around for the sake of knowing you have them.

The little respirator pushes a complete Cesspool up towards $40. Sans that, you can get one with the rest of his accessories for $15. Reproduction respirators are out there, which is both an option for “completing” your figure, but also something to scrutinize when buying a figure advertised as complete. For the all the praise I can heap onto Cesspool, it’s hard to say he feels like he’s worth as much as a decent V1 Zartan (last time I checked). Amusingly though, eBay prices are a pretty good indicator of the collecting consensus on any given figure, so I guess going by that Cesspool’s an A-tier Cobra.

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1991 Cesspool Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

Joe A Day

3D Joes

1983 Action Force Shadowtrak

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1983 Action Force Shadowtrak

I realized that by coincidence, every toy I’ve posted about for the last month has been red. Not intentionally, but just something that happened. So to cap off May, I’ll finally get around to a post on the Shadowtrak. Action Force vehicles could be kind of hit-or-miss, but the hits tend to be fairly pronounced, as exemplified by this vehicle. Really, the only downside to the Shadowtrak is that it’s a pain in the ass to get a nice one and a handful of Red Shadows to have for it’s crew.

1983 Shadowtrak gi joe

Despite not being designed initially as a bad-guy vehicle, the Shadowtrak strikes me as almost exclusively being the light reconnaissance vehicle of the Red Shadows. It’s odd too, because the angular design and square glass windshield doesn’t look that far off from what would become a standard look for Joe vehicles come ‘86, like the HAVOC. Still, something about the angular peaks of the design seems oddly communist by way Art Deco. It’s an odd thing to describe, but there’s just something a tad bit alien about it that feels much better as a Red Shadows vehicle rather than anything else.

I remember hearing somewhere that Action Force wasn’t a particularly high-budget toy line. This seems fairly evident with toys like the Shadowtrak, which itself is a repaint of the AF5, and the Q-Force Cosmic Cruiser. Small parts are changed across the toys making them unique, and in the case of the Cosmic Cruiser it was totally re-engineered to be a space ship. They work well in their intended roles, but there weren’t really a whole lot of Action Force toys that were mostly unique identities.

It seats two figures: one facing the back and one driver, though I think it looks perfectly reasonable with three, and you could probably fit five on there if you wanted. The backend is very open and not so restrictive in terms of how figures are seated on it, so there’s room to get creative with how it’s used. It’s armed with a pair of missiles on the side and some adjustable guns that go on both sides of the back. Mine doesn’t have these yet, so you won’t see them pictured here, but it’s a starter that was sent to me for free by one of the kindest GI Joe fans I’ve ever known. I don’t really mind it without those parts, as I just use it as something similar to the LCV Recon Sled, as if the Recon Sled were a good toy, it’d be a lot more like this. Part of what makes the vehicle seem so nice is that it has a pretty detailed parts count, compared to something like the VAMP which is only made of a dozen or so parts in total.

With that said, the Shadowtrak and it’s various repaints are fantastic vehicles that trounce many of Hasbro’s contemporary offerings. That’s a pretty impressive feat when you consider the fact that the Shadowtrak also has to be compatible with arthritic, 5-POA Action Force figures. The overall quality and feel of the vehicle is much more pleasing aesthetically than the more cheap and utilitarian feeling of the GI Joe vehicles. Little things like the eight rubber wheels, the Red Shadows marking on the windshield, the folding seat and weight of the vehicle make it feel more premium in nature.

The non-Hasbro Action Force stuff used to be cheap, but isn’t really any more. Shadowtrak’s are fairly common, but it has a lot of little pieces that are easily lost or damaged, so it’s hard to get a complete one for less than $70, and here in the US you’re going to get eaten up by shipping if it’s coming from Europe (usually around $30). Still, this is a niche collecting interest and you can get good deals on almost anything if you wait long enough. Though if you really want one, it’s probably also something where you won’t do bad buying an example at full price if it’s mint and complete.

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1983 Action Force Shadowtrak Links:

Forgotten Figures

Blood For the Baron

1993 M. Bison

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1993 M. Bison

I was reflecting on my early childhood with GI Joe a bit ago, trying to actually recall why I like these toys so much. Being born in 1994 means I didn’t crawl this earth until GI Joe was already gone, though, I got many of my own GI Joes from what was available at Toy Liquidators and Big Lots in the years to follow. It was then that I started to recall some favorites from my brother’s collection: The Street Fighter II GI Joes. In an overall sense I think these were some weaker offerings, but I also have to imagine they played a pivotal role in keeping GI Joe relevant, and maybe the toy industry as a whole. We take them for granted now, but video-game based action figures were not so common when these came out.

GI Joe TV reruns were getting harder to find into the late nineties, which is when a lot of these memories are from. I think I caught some Sunbow episodes a handful of times on USA Network, along with Ronin Warriors and Street Fighter. I realized then, that playing my copy of Street Fighter II on my SNES and watching the show prompted me to probably stay more interested in GI Joe. That is to say, that for me as a kid, GI Joe was this weird catch-all brand that was almost like an action figure adaptation of a morning cartoon block. I had the real GI Joes (the ones I could recognize), Street Fighter, some Ronin Warriors (Ninja Force), and even Sentai/Beetle Borgs (the V2 Eel, who was usually good-guy superhero to me). The point being, that Street Fighter stayed relevant in the 90‘s long after Joe was gone. Yet, because GI Joe was also Street Fighter, it acted as another avenue to keep me twice as interested in GI Joe.

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An head-swap created with M. Bison’s head, a Shadow Guard’s body and 1993 Cobra Commanders legs.

The main issue the Street Fighter GI Joes run into is that most of them have gigantic heads. Often times, the proportions favor the sculpting seen with 1986 figure more so than anything from the 90‘s. M. Bison’s a middle of the road example of this; his head is nicely sharp and not as big as Ken’s, but it’s still pretty big. One time I got curious to make a lazy approximation of the Joecon Black Major figure by swapping M. Bison’s head into a Shadow Guard body. The result looked really cartoonish, possibly because of the more slender ‘85 body sculpt.

The rest of the figure is constructed from the torso and arms of Hardball, and the legs and waist of ‘92 Destro. The Hardball torso is a little slim, but for something made almost entirely of reused parts, I think the little recipe works. Something that really gets me about this figure, is just how attractive the overall design is: The Hardball half keeps him looking military enough to fit with GI Joe, but the Destro half adds a good bit of flair without infringing on Destro’s look too much. Further, the bright red plastic looks really good, especially with the choice details they picked out to paint blue, black, silver and yellow. When you compare him to something like the HEAT Viper from the same year, it’s actually surprising how much paint is featured on M. Bison.

For both the single-carded M. Bison and the blue one packed with the Crimson Cruiser, there exists variants that have the shoulder pad from Road Pig, colored in silver. To my understanding, these are inconsistently glued in the typical vintage Hasbro fashion, where some examples are not glued at all, and others are glued anywhere from lightly to heavily. I don’t have any like this, but I’ve tried putting Road Pig’s pad on him before. It’s a poor fit, and while it does improve the overall bulk of the figure, the asymmetrical design and fit against his head probably takes more away than it gives.

For another bit of interesting trivia, the blue version with the Crimson Cruiser, is photographed on the back of the box with a General Flagg head. Almost all of the Street Fighter Joes can be found with a reused head pictured on the back of the vehicle boxes, which makes me curious if these were rushed a bit.

For accessories, you get the M-6865 tree, shared with ‘94 Metal Head, the ‘93 HEAT Viper, and the ‘93 T.A.R.G.A.T. (and it’s Funskool version, too). So, you get the Annihilator SMG, the Iron Grenadier pistol, the Rock Viper PSG1, missiles and a stand. In addition to this, you get a green launcher (also from the aforementioned HEAT Viper), and a grappling hook with a string you can place in it. Curiously, the grappling hook was unique to the Street Fighter figures and only included with them. I don’t find his accessories to be all that good or essential, though he’s the only figure that has this particular set in black. There’s examples of most of these guns in this color with the exception of the Iron Grenadier pistol, which gives him something a tad unique to enjoy.

M. Bison’s are fairly cheap still. Street Fighter Joes used to not be all that popular at all, but a strong appreciation for these figures has grown in recent years, probably fueled by softer attitudes on 90‘s Joes, and the enduring popularity of Street Fighter, too. So they’re way more expensive now than they used to be, but a complete M. Bison will only run around $20, which what most Joes from that year cost complete. If you don’t care for the accessories, you can get him for about half of that, which might be wise if you’re not looking for your 40th example of a black Rock Viper rifle.

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1993 M. Bison Links:

3D Joes

Half the Battle

1985 Bazooka

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1985 Bazooka

Bazooka is a character I almost entirely associate with the cartoon, which I think is probably a common notion. For me, it’s partly because I’ve still not read the comic issues he would appear in, but I don’t think Hama did all that much with him anyways. The Sunbow cartoon doesn’t play a big part in my Joe world; I think it’s well made and I really liked it as a kid, but the comics are way better generally. That preference aside, there’s a lot of things I associate with Sunbow and keep with me, like Cobra La, and probably the Sunbow portrayal of Bazooka, too.

1989 Lynx alt gi joeGoing through my old photos, something that surprised me is just how much I’ve used V1 Bazooka; he’s in a ton of my photos either prominently or in the background. Partly, I think the reason for that is because he shows up well. While bright red figures draw the ire of realists, as a toy there’s some practicality to it. The V1 HISS tank and HISS Driver are great examples of this, where the entire toy is built around making the driver more visible, which enhances the play value. Bazooka’s similar to this, because the red shirt let’s him be seen basically anywhere, and contrasts really nicely with green, a staple color among GI Joe items. For a kid that’s fun, and for my photos I like adding bright colors like this into the background to make the depth a bit more interesting.

Plus, I do think the bright red jersey and baggy pants just look pretty cool. This figure really benefits from the simple design sense of the early line with just enough absurdity to make him a fun action figure. Maybe it’s my late-millennial tastes showing again, but Bazooka’s design seems like something you’d still see in a modern video-game or comic, in the way that it’s silly, but also doesn’t seem to date itself as hard as the more Village People look’n characters. Speaking of music, Bazooka looks like Freddy Mercury, and that guy’s pretty timeless too, so that’s another appeal. According to Ron Rudat, the #14 jersey is a nod to Steve Grogan of the New England Patriots, cool but I don’t know anything about physical movement games.

I love his accessories, which include his signature bazooka, backpack, and a helmet. He doesn’t come with a ton of crap, just the standard three accessories, but I feel the quality of these are particularly high. The bazooka itself has a handle, so that makes it way less cumbersome than Footloose’s. The sculpt on his helmet and backpack are also particularly good: the little fabric folds are nice and sharp, which makes them a tad more interesting than some of the gear from the same year. I’m also glad that between Bazooka and Footloose they added in some smaller, LAW-like bazookas into the line. I watched Death Wish 3 as a kid and always think of that movie’s final scene when I see a LAW like this.

People like swapping Bazooka’s bazooka with Footloose’s. For variety, I like swapping them every now and then too, especially after the strap broke on Bazooka’s proper weapon (it was cracked when I bought it). Though, for a long time I did it as a reference to a variant of Bazooka, that I can no longer find any evidence to ever having existed. Was this a thing? I thought some Bazooka’s legitimately included Footloose’s weapon, but this seems to be another case of the Mandela Effect. It sucks because I always thought this was cool to do, but I guess I should be glad my trivia got retconed in return for the world not ending: John Titor told us about some bad stuff that happened in the other time line, which I guess got subverted when all of those Bazooka’s disappeared from existence. Dang time travelers.

To my surprise, complete Bazooka’s go for a pretty fair amount, usually around or a little more than $20, with some examples surging way past that. There’s no real reason I can think of for this besides that he’s popular and from the best year, which I guess is reasonable. Still, it stings when I go back through my eBay feedback from years ago and see how little I paid for so much.

Alpine m60 expert gi joeGI Joe 1986 LCV Recon Sled Beachhead Bazooka Hasbro vintagered-lessons_6932248830_o

1985 Bazooka Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

Joe A Day

3D Joes

2017 Red Shadows Star Duster (TBM)

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2017 Red Shadows Star Duster (TBM)

Sometimes I feel like the staying-power of a TBM figure is dependent on how “needed” the given figure was. Over the years a lot of them have blended together and I can barely even remember when some came out. For others though, they seem a lot more remarkable if it was something there was a lot of pent up demand for, and such is the case with the Star Duster customs.

I don’t use most of them besides this Red Shadows Star Duster in photos a whole lot, though I’m tempted to say some of that comes from a subconscious notion that this Star Duster is the best one, so I always like tossing him around a little more than the others. Something about him really works as a Red Shadow for me, I think partly just because Action Force already has enough of a separate continuity from the American GI Joe media that it doesn’t feel so odd having Steeler’s evil twin wondering around. There’s a few more degrees of separation between them. Amusingly, the Red Shadows have a tendency to be the low-hanging fruit of the “factory customs”, since many of them tend to work so well. Palitoy seemed a little whimsical in their repurposing of molds, probably with Hunter being the best example of that.

The figure looking fantastic is another thing that makes him stand out as the best. The original Star Duster colors are pretty dandy, but the fluorescent red with black camouflage and details just pops. His red is not a perfect match for any particular Palitoy Red Shadow, though it does strike me as being very similar to the color some guns were cast in, which gives it some added novelty. The visor-helmet works pretty well for his look too, as V1 Hawk and Flash aren’t so iconic as to make the look sacred, and Scrap-Iron’s helmet wasn’t that much different either. I like that the opaque visor hides his face somewhat villainously while lacking so much overlap with all the Cobras that keep their mouths covered.

Overall the quality is solid on the figure too: Nice joints, solid construction, good paint-masks and sculpt looks fairly undistorted. I’m not to sensitive to TBM’s occasional quality defects, which I think partly comes from years of restoring junker figures with loose joints and other flaws. Despite that though, the Star Dusters felt better than average, especially the overall feel of the plastic; it’s much more Hasbro-like in tolerance compared to some of the other customs that strike me as a tad more brittle feeling.

Most of the TBM Star Duster’s also included and alternate torso casting, so you could chose between Duke’s torso and Recondo’s. The Recondo torso has that open shirt and looks a little more wild, so I like that better than Duke’s. Still, giving you the option is to switch to your preferred Star Duster configuration was pretty neat. There’s a very fickle audience for these sorts of figures, so this method is nice way of pleasing everyone.

Included is full set of Star Duster accessories in different colors, so a China Lake grenade launcher, a jet-pack, a helmet and visor all in solid red. The jet-pack’s pretty nifty, but also similar to the one with the Q-Force Deep Sea Defender, so it’s not too new. The helmet and visor completes his look and are integral accessories, but you’d also be fine to swap them for a few others. Lastly, the grenade launcher is still the classic part from Gung-Ho, and in my opinion, the best thing about Gung-Ho. A standard black or silver gun might look a tad better with him, but the red guns have their uses, and this makes a nice alternative for plenty of Cobras.

You can still find these floating around, if you look long enough. Almost all of the TBM Star Dusters, including this figure, go for a routine $30, which I don’t find that appalling. It’s still a fair bit of money to pay, but the nice thing is that he’s not an army-builder, so it’s not like he has diminished appeal for the lack of a squad. Plus, if you’re into Action Force, you don’t really have that much to collect to begin with, so in that context he’s a relatively inexpensive addition.

TBM Red Shadows Starduster gi joeRed Shadows Star Duster gi joe

2017 Red Shadows Star Duster (TBM) Links:

Attica Gazette

1993 Detonator

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1993 Detonator

1993 Detonator gi joe90‘s vehicles are a weird lot, because you guys probably know by now that I don’t have the best opinion of things made after 1990. ‘91 was probably the bottom of the barrel as far as vehicles go, though the quality seemed to be recovering somewhat in the line’s twilight years, big emphasis on “somewhat”. The Detonator is a pretty good example of what I mean, as it’s a cool and unique vehicle with a lot going on for it, but also fails pretty hard on execution.

The Detonator is basically a huge-ass Cobra ICBM-launcher, equipped with what looks like some nasty biological warheads judging by the stickers. It’s really the perfect vehicle for Cobra’s identity, as the threat of getting poisoned or incinerated by a missile at any given time seems like the epitome of Cold War fears (and modern ones too). From the perspective of a military fantasy, it seems really weird they never made another vehicle like this, especially given the popularity of some similar ideas tried by Chap Mei and some other no name companies years later.

Of course, the thing most are quick to notice and deride is that the ICBM’s are made of foam, so you can launch them from the giant plunger in the back. Hasbro was trying to work in more gimmicks with vehicles like this, and I can’t blame them for that given I always wanted to launch a nuke at the Joes as a kid. Which I never did because of this thing’s biggest problem: it doesn’t work! The missiles fit way too tight on the launcher to ever fly off, and the pump doesn’t really push air through it at all either. From an objective point of view, it’s pretty hard to overlook a gimmick-oriented vehicle where the gimmick doesn’t really work at all.

Spare missiles are held in place by some silver clips. Unfortunately those clips are really fragile now, so don’t be surprised if they shatter from the slightest touch. They have a slight sparkle to them, so I assume these parts suffer from something akin to GPS. Unfortunately, they work by pinching the missiles a little bit, so the plastic parts are always under a little stress as long as the missiles are attached.

It’s second biggest problem is that this vehicle is fudgin’ huge, despite that it doesn’t really do that much. This isn’t too bad because the size is admittedly part of it’s appeal, it’s just frustrating that the back half of the vehicle is entirely occupied with the pump and launcher mechanism. As a kid the Detonator was almost more of a Cobra playset, where whole battles would center around stopping the missile launch. As an adult, I still like how well it does to fill up the frame of a photo, but it should be said the thing takes up a lot of space (it’s roughly the same size as the Night Raven).

Detonator crew gi joeIt has seats for five guys up front, one for the rear gun, and foot-pegs for a guy on each side and a few on the front and rear bumpers. It’s a reasonable crew for what it is, as this vehicle really shouldn’t need that many crew members. With that said though, another minor gripe is that the seats are awkwardly arranged. I mildly dislike how the two guys riding in the back have rear-facing seats, I can’t really see the point of what they do back there.

Oddly I really don’t feel like I have much good to say about the Detonator at all, which is weird to me. I say that because in a general sense it’s a favorite vehicle of mine and I have tons of good memories of playing with it. To this day, I daydream enough events that it’s been involved with to say it’s a major part of my Cobra armory. Partly, I think some of that is just because the appeal of Cobra’s big missile is enough to outweigh the vehicle’s failings. Despite that the failings are rather severe and the things it’s good at aren’t so much… So looking at it objectively, I can’t say I think it’s the best toy.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot there’s a Funskool Detonator. It’s a little different, as the orange has been swapped for slightly more reddish plastic, and the missiles are now short, green ones with a totally different design. It’s an interesting novelty, but good luck finding one now.

Detonators have gotten tougher to find. Mind you, they are not so rare or precious, as examples with enough parts to count as a starter barely go for a few bucks, less than the price of shipping. A complete one with the foam missiles is really tough to find though, way harder to find loose than ones that are still MISB. Though, you can get a sealed one on the low-end for around $100, which isn’t much when you consider that you’re getting the Nitro-Viper with it too.

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1993 Detonator

Forgotten Figures

A Random HISS Tank Thread

3D Joes

1991 Quick Kick

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1991 Quick Kick

I’ve sometimes questioned the criteria fans use to determine what is a “new” figure and what counts as a “variant” of an existing figure. Quick Kick is an interesting example of that, where six years apart from his original release, he was sold as a mail-away figure. The mail-away figure however, has different colors, a new file-card, and is made in Brazil, compared to the ‘85 release that was made in China. It’s usually considered a variant, but by that logic it isnt’ much different than considering a ‘22 Retro Cobra Officer a variant of the ‘83 Cobra Officer, is it?

Quick Kick is a character (and figure) I don’t really think about a whole lot, which feels kind of unfair to him, as I don’t really hate him either. I think he just comes across as being a bit too silly for being a barefoot figure, and also lacking the extensive ninja-lore built around the Arashikage. Neither of those are really bad things though, as he’s a pretty good “silly” figure, and there’s enough of the Arashikage ninjas to make me sick. Other than that, I think the main reason he’s absent from my mind most of the time is just because he shares an original release year with Flint, Footloose and Dusty, and several other classics that mostly overshadow him.

‘91 Quick Kick amounts to being an Estrela figure, complete with having way more vibrant plastic colors as a trade-off for being slightly more brittle than the plastic Asian factories typically used. There’s a very fine, hair-line crack on one of the thumbs on my copy, which I purchased for the parts and mint paint. Got ‘em for nothing back in the early 10‘s, and thought I’d just swap the bad arm for one off another cheap, incomplete Quick Kick, only to quickly discover that the two figures were virtually incompatible. At the time, I didn’t know about the “variant”, and the figure I bought was just listed as 1985 Quick Kick, so I didn’t realize until later that the two were so different.

The flesh tone isn’t even just slightly different on this figure, the change is almost parallel to the difference between Falcon and Red Dog. The ‘85 figure was already a fairly odd skin-color for his time, which was probably intended to help make him appear Asian compared to his contemporaries. It’s a fairly ghoulish color, being so pale and kind of sick looking. The mail-in version is way more saturated and tan, an almost peachy color. His belts and pouches are also slightly brighter, though not nearly to the extent of the skin. Of course, something that probably helps exaggerate the difference once again comes back to the Brazilian plastic formula, which is less prone to discoloring than other Hasbro plastics.

For accessories, he comes with the same katana, nunchucks and backpack as before, just now with slightly flimsier plastic and other slight differences. Always thought the nunchucks on this figure especially (and to a lesser extent, V1 Storm Shadow) looked a little too small for me to take them seriously, but I suppose that’s the rare downside to the tiny-accessories era. His sword on the other hand is great; it’s nicely scaled and even stores in his backpack. It’s really too bad we never saw this part more at any point.

You can easily get one of these, often still sealed in his bag for $20 or less. To a certain extent I feel like this mail-away version is easier to find than the original figure, which might just be an effect of how much overstock went into the hands of collectors as opposed to spending their lives getting beat-up in the back of mom’s Chevette. It also probably doesn’t help that Quick Kick feels like the forgotten Fast Draw of what’s otherwise probably Joe’s most popular year, but either way I’m glad that a good version of a classic character remains cheap in current times.

1985 quick kick gi joeOff you go gi joe airtight-week_9377623557_o

1991 Quick Kick Links:

Forgotten Figures

Attica Gazette

3D Joes

1994 Alley Viper

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1994 Alley Viper

I turn 30 this year, which doesn’t mean much to me. Though it did get me to thinking I should round off a few more posts on the Joes that turn 30 this year, which proves to be more and more difficult of a task as I’ve already made posts on a bunch, and there aren’t that many to choose from. So, I’ll finally write about the 1994 Alley Viper I have access to, since that one’s fairly interesting in a kind of meta-sense.

Doing things out of order a bit, I’ll start with the figure’s pricing. 1994 Alley Vipers are somewhat rare (I could say less common, because anything you can find a couple examples of on eBay at any given time probably isn’t truly “rare”) and absolutely insane-expensive. Last auction for a complete striped variant (made in China) hit $136, the more common stripe-less variant (made in Indonesia) still hits around $40 as long as it has the face mask. Of domestic, mass-retail single cards, that makes this version of the Alley Viper one of the most expensive figures in the entire line, probably out-priced by the red Ozone (who is genuinely rare), and roughly tied with Predacon by my best guess.

So is this R@RE GI Joe worth it? Nah, not really. This is another figure that’s still owned by my brother, not me, and although Alley Vipers have always been popular with both of us, I always saw this as a subpar remake of the ‘89 figure. As a kid it was kind of fun to pair them together, as he looked similar enough to the original that it could work. Later in life any money I had for Alley Vipers went off to the 2000’s repaints or to the V1 figure, as this guy was just a little too bland to garner much interest from me.

The colors are similar to the original, but if you compare them in-hand, they’re definitely not the same. The orange and blue colors are both slightly brighter, so even the orange is a slightly more eye-searing tone than the comfy shades seen on the original. Obviously one’s not more realistic than the other, but the ‘89 figure just looks better, especially for the blue color complimenting the orange. I will say I find the gold details on the torso pretty nifty, though it’s not a very strong contrast.

The accessories are similar to the 1993 figure, but you don’t get an Alley Viper backpack because Hasbro loves cutting corners. So included here is a mask, Dial-Tone SMG, Version 2 Alley Viper gun (thick foregrip), a shield and a figure stand in super bright orange, along with a missile launcher in bright blue. I don’t mind some neon weapons, but I do dislike it when they match the figure’s primary color. In this figure’s case, it makes him look like a solid orange blob, when blue or gold would’ve been a lot better.

Oh yeah, I kind of touched on it at the beginning, but I’ll highlight the two variants of the figure again. V3 Alley Vipers were made in both China and in Indonesia, with the Chinese ones featuring an extra paint-application on the legs compared to the Indonesian ones that lack it. It’s similar to other variants from the same year like with Stalker and Dial-Tone and a few others, where seemingly one factory wouldn’t have access to the same paint-masks as the other. It’s actually pretty boring, but nerds are thirsty for anything that could be considered a novel and rare colectibible.

Figures like this that just sort of became expensive suddenly are something I find baffling. It’s very hard to understand and seems to be occurring in more niches than just vintage GI Joe, so it appears to be a bit of a broader social phenomena as opposed to something more inherent to our collecting. Lock-down noobs seem to have mostly blown off in most spaces, particularly last year. Inflation really shouldn’t make old toys more expensive either, though it should be making things harder for all but the upper-class (meaning prices should go down). The only other interesting social anecdote I can think of, is that a lot of guys are dropping out of marriage. It stuck in my head when I read this, because hags and kids tend to eat up a lot of money, that now probably goes to male-dominated hobbies like this one instead. Guys not getting their routine divorces from some gold-digging trophy wife probably also plays an effect, since it seemed like every other eBay auction I won in the 2000‘s would be described along the lines of “Getting divorced and have to sell everything.”. That’s probably not entirely it either, though society finding itself in a bizarre and increasingly dysfunctional state could have some role in it.

1994 alley viper gi joeintel exchange gi joe

1994 Alley Viper Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

Joe A Day

3d Joes

1992 Wild Bill

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1992 Wild Bill

Hey look, it’s the iconic cowboy’s second iconic figure, iconic GI Joe Wild Bill! …Some random fleeting sense of indignation towards a word I feel like I hear too much lately, though honestly I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone call this figure iconic. Maybe on Facebook, but who knows, almost every GI Joe figure has someone who insists on it’s profound design. This version of Wild Bill is a pretty well done toy, but I don’t have much nice to say about him just for the sheer silliness of the design.

When Hasbro started expanding the roster of characters they revisited to more than just Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes in the late eighties, it was generally to good benefit for some early Joes that were often made on smaller budgets. Say what you will about the First 13 being iconic, most of those toys were insufferably bland and benefited from getting more unique representations in the later part of the line. A few of the 90‘s redesigns don’t suit me so well though, with probably my least favorites being Firefly and this Wild Bill.

The original Wild Bill, wasn’t a perfect figure, but the design was close enough to a decent military fatigue with just enough cowboy paraphernalia to give him some flair. The worst thing about him, was that his head made him look like a King of the Hill character. Wild Bill V2 is the opposite, where the best thing about the figure is the head, and the rest of his outfit is made to look similar to an 1880 Cavalry uniform… Even then the sculpt is sharp and well done, but the look comes across to me as a militant cosplayer, which is a bit too kitsch for my tastes.

His colors are a little weird too. The card art shows him as having bare elbows, but the toy renders that part in yellow, also making them the only parts cast in yellow plastic. The rest of his yellow details are painted over the dark black and blue pieces, which bugs me a little as it makes the tone slightly different. Most would probably moan at the yellow being here at all, though on the “bright” side, it makes him a nice match with his contemporary Wet-Suit. Likewise, his other colors match up pretty well with Roadblock, and the complimentary colors are always a fun thing. I think oddly enough the black pants are what bugs me the most; They make the Cavalry uniform reference a bit weaker, but also make him look less like his Sunbow appearance, which the blue and yellow are a nice match for.

For parts you get a nice kit, including: a spring loaded missile launcher, a hat, a “Colt .46 side arm”, a knife and a backpack that holds it, all cast in light brown plastic (besides the launcher and hat). I’ve yet to determine what, if any real gun was the basis for his gun. I assume the file card labeling it a Colt gun is just a reference to the Colt revolvers that were famously used through the Civil War. This is certainly not one of those however, as it has a magazine feed in front of the action, as well, the entire gun is quite long and encased mostly in wood furniture.

A mint, complete V2 Wild Bill is worth about $15. Typically the knife is what’s missing, though he still doesn’t go for much in spite of that. There’s two other repaints of this figure, including the ‘93 version that just swapped the black pants for white ones. I somewhat assume this has helped inflate the number of accessories you find for him floating around. Currently, I find myself in a weird place with this figure, where I don’t really like him, but I don’t really hate him either. He’s almost perfectly mediocre, but maybe someday I’ll go for one of his repaints.

1992 Wild Bill gi joe92 GI Joe HQ Fuel hose

1992 Wild Bill Links:

Forgotten Figures

3D Joes

1987 Pom-Pom Gun

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1987 Pom-Pom Gun

Happy April Fools nerds, and in the tradition of this blog I highlight something goofy, but in earnest. So here’s the Pom-Pom Gun, part of the Motorized Action Packs. Somewhere between a vehicle and an accessory, each each Action Pack had a wind-up gimmick, where you give it a good few twists and let it do whatever it wants. Most of these look incredibly silly, hence why I chose it for today.

1987 pom pom gun carried gi joeIn spite of that, the Pom Pom Gun is only mostly silly? It’s basically just a little motorized gun emplacement, so there’s really nothing terrible about that at face value. About half of the Motorized Action Packs were pretty neat like this, with the real comedy-gold being the Motorized Vehicle Packs from 1988. So there’s sillier things to write about, but I’ve never sought out any of these, and only own this Pom-Pom Gun by chance. Before resellers took over the market, something I used to love about lots was the typical acquisition of some oddity I’d normally never pursue.

It operates in two forms: On the ground with the handles turned backwards or on a figure’s back, connected via a standard backpack peg. On a figure’s back it looks pretty uncomfortable, and I can’t quite imagine anyone firing it this way. Of course, it’s comically heavy even in action-figure form, so good luck getting a figure to stand with it. Hasbro tossed around figure stands so much back in the day, but didn’t seem deem one necessary here.

Deployed to the ground, it actually looks okay. Unfortunately the aforementioned backpack peg faces the front, which is a bit distracting. A figure is required to hold the gun up in a firing position, which makes using it somewhat of a balancing act. The grips are also thicker than I like using, but it might be a little more stable if I wasn’t scared of breaking a thumb on a novelty item 37 years from it’s release.

To the best of my knowledge, these were priced about the same as a figure when they came out: a little less than $3. You don’t get much here for that price (in eighties money, it’d be okay now of course), and it’s odd when you consider that something like Zanzibar with his Air Skiff was only a dollar and a half more. Other decently sized vehicles were only a few coins more expensive than this. For me, it’s pretty hard to imagine a kid going into Sears or wherever and choosing any of the Motorized Action Packs over one of their contemporary vehicles, just for the sheer difference in size. It’s a poor upsell, which I presume is why they opted to start bundling similar items with premium priced figures in the 90‘s (Sonic Fighters and DEF).

If you wait for an auction, you can get one for less than a dollar. If you want one for whatever reason and can’t wait, they sell for around $6. Suffice to say, these are the GI Joe toys nobody ever wanted, not when they came out, and certainly not now. Personally, I might add a few more to my collection; they do have a very nice retro feeling to them, and break up my often stagnant Joe world for a low price. Though, I’ll probably forget I said that in a week or two and never make good on it.

1987 pom pom gun planted gi joe

There’s No Other Content with This Thing, so Here’s my Other April Fools Posts:

2004 Dreadhead Joe-Bob

2001 Big Brawler

1993 Dinohunters Dinosaur