1993 Cross Country (Battle Corps)

Posted on October 10, 2022 by mwnekoman

1993 Cross Country (Battle Corps)

It’s fair to say that ‘86 Cross Country is one of the worst figures in the line. His colors are awful, his head is both gigantic and ugly, and for a lot of people, the Confederate Flag seals the deal. Oddly, they brought him back in ‘93 as a part of Battle Corps, and honestly gave us one of the best updates you could hope for from ARAH. Oddly, he’s become somewhat of an overlooked gem, probably because of the flag thing, though Hasbro tying him to a vehicle that’s arguably worse than the HAVOC probably didn’t do him any favors, either.

Getting it over with right away, Cross Country’s defining characteristic is the Confederate Flag he wears on his jacket and belt buckle. Besides the obvious Dukes of Hazard homage, I always assumed this was done mainly to give the toy a more obvious, regional based personality. Still, it’s a little odd for a brand built on mostly patriotic notions to have a guy running around with Confederate Flags all over him, but back when this toy came out, people didn’t think so much about that. When my imagination runs wild though, I sometimes contemplate him working with Chuckles and Scoop to manufacture rage-porn for psy-ops. They could incite riots to help Destro move around the country more discretely when they’re helping him out… But that’s only in my version of the story where there’s a vaguely more traitorous cell within the GI Joe team.

That aside, this is a really nice toy. His head sculpt is very sharp, the jacket is sharp, nothing’s too busy, and he even has a neat little set of tools sculpted onto his leg. He has one of the more buff chest sculpts, but it’s not as bad as Mace’s, so it works for me. Another thing I really like is the use of marbled plastic to simulate denim for his blue jeans. This feature alone makes him really stand out among his contemporaries. The orange trim is a little obnoxious, but it doesn’t ruin the look of the figure, so I’m fine with it.

Cross Country’s filecard makes him the vehicle driver for both the Battle Wagon and the Mudbuster, both of which were sold separately. I like the Mudbuster well enough, but the Battle Wagon is a hard toy for me to get into. Of course, there’s nothing stopping you from putting him in any vehicle you like, though there’s still something very boring about single-carded vehicle drivers. His only job is driving vehicles, so sometimes I have to wonder what he does with that assortment of weapons that he comes with.

Speaking of weapons, he has a really great set. Included is the same runner of parts from Snowstorm, ‘93 Roadblock and ‘94 Shipwreck. That set features Bullhorn’s Steyr AUG, Hit & Run’s rifle and knife, ‘88 Shockwave’s pistol, a stand and two missiles for his launcher, all in black. Included separately is a teal launcher only shared with Roadblock, and an orange version of ‘91 Dusty’s backpack. It’s a cool set of parts, and back then I’d have loved the extra chance to have a few more Steyr AUGs laying around. The inclusion of a backpack at all was also pretty good, especially since most ‘93 and ‘94 releases didn’t bother with those.

Surprisingly, a complete Cross Country fetches around $25, and even incomplete examples hit between $10 and $15. He’s common, so it still shocks me to see figures like this going for so much. At the same time, he’s vast improvement over the crappy 1986 release, so I imagine there’s a lot of people who would want this version as their only Cross Country figure. It also probably helps that his parts, although reused, are still certainly worth having.

1993 Cross Country (Battle Corps) Links:

1992 Headman

Posted on September 26, 2022 by mwnekoman

1992 Headman

There’s a lot you can say about “The War on Drugs” in hindsight. It was a huge propaganda push, and really an old corporate virtue-signal that amounted to good PR for toy companies, cartoons and video games. Though, kind of like with Eco Warriors (GI Joe was really preachy there for a few years), it’s a realistic part of modern warfare, and made for some pretty cool toys. Most of what you see going on with Headman is more on the extremely cool end, and only a little corny.

First, it should be said that Headman’s appearance more so than any other GI Joe villain pulls from an iconic visage that strikes fear into the hearts of many:

The suspicious man from neighborhood watch signs! Jokes aside, the corniest thing about Headman is that he wears a bandit mask and a silly little hat. The head sculpt itself is high-quality and has that late-ARAH sharpness that often goes underappreciated, but it looks super silly. I think they purposely tried to make his head look a little sillier, since if he looked like his DIC design, this would be a pretty drab figure of a guy in a suit (though, that probably would’ve been cooler).

The suit sculpt is really nice too. Hasbro’s later releases of Tomax and Xamot, as well as ‘04 General Flagg show how this mold had a lot of potential in it. A lot of later repaints didn’t look so good with 80‘s figures because of the sculpting changes that occurred between the beginning and end of ARAH, though I feel Headman is subtle enough that he doesn’t look so weird with some sculpts that are a few years older than his.

Headman’s suit is lined with gold pin-stripes that are incredibly delicate. I love how it looks, but sadly getting a mint example is not the easiest thing to do. The figure pictured in this post is my brother’s childhood Headman, whose gold paint is almost entirely gone. I wanted my own figure of this guy for a while, but eBay grief and other purchases always kept that at bay. Other than that, Headman doesn’t have much going on for painted details. The ’02 release shows off the sculpt better, though that comes at the cost of him being orange.

For parts, Headman included a G11 rifle, a free-standing rocket launcher, missile and a figure stand. The rocket launcher lights up like the other DEF launchers, which I always thought was a pretty cool gimmick, though I’m not sure there was really enough here to justify the higher price of DEF figures. Essentially including one launcher and a standard gun is pretty lacking when compared to the normal ARAH releases from the same year.

With that said, the rifle is pretty cool, and actually another great example of how much attention to detail was placed in GI Joe guns. For years I thought it was just some weird sci-fi contraption, but it’s actually H&K’s experimental G11 rifle. That gun has a long and interesting production history, but the point of it is that even in 1992, this would be a very unusual and very, very expensive gun to be toting around. It’s my assumption that it’s meant to reflect his tacky and posh nature as a drug kingpin, though that doesn’t explain why Battle Corps Mutt had it too. Oddly, the barrel area is more open than any G11 prototype I’ve seen, but maybe that’s a change that occurred once it became the filecard’s “mega-blast combat rifle”.

Getting a complete Headman is actually cheap and somewhat easy. Getting a mint Headman is a lot more challenging. A loose complete Headman in good condition tends to run around $20, but it takes a while to find one with even decent paint. Carded figures seem to float more around $50 at the moment. As is the case with much of Hasbro’s vintage gold and silver paint applications, it’s made of fairy-dust, and that’s bad for Headman since you essentially can’t touch the figure without rubbing it. Oddly though, there’s a lot more of Headman on eBay than I see for other figures (especially DEF ones), so I can only assume this guy was actually very popular back in ‘92.

1992 Headman Links:

1993 Clutch (Mega Marines)

Posted on September 19, 2022 by mwnekoman

1993 Clutch (Mega Marines)

It’s often portrayed as a fixture of modern toys that Hasbro hammers the same classic characters from ‘82 to ‘86 over and over without end, though interestingly you really started to see Hasbro fall back on the classic ARAH cast as far back as ‘89. If you were introduced to GI Joe in ‘91, you could have a new toy for 8 of the first 13 Joes by ‘93. Mega Marines Clutch is among those updates, and like many of them, he’s a lot different from the original.

I think it’s not unfair to say Clutch is one of the most popular members of the ‘82 Joe lineup. He’s got a fun, likable personality and a real presence in the comics even after the point his toy was gone from store shelves. Speaking of the comics, I find it curious he was brought back rather prominently for a story arc that introduced us to Rock&Roll in his ‘89 costume. Perhaps Clutch had been on the drawing board at one point too, but didnt’ materialize. Skidmark and Hot Seat seem like they could pass for a new Clutch with a different head, but maybe that’s just me.

A new Clutch wouldn’t show up again until ‘93 in the Mega Marines. One could suppose with how different he looks that the figure became Clutch just as a lazy way for Hasbro to retain a trademark, though it’s pretty well in line with other characters that got redesigned up to that point. The redesign probably also seems a little more exaggerated just for the fact that now Clutch is a totally unique toy, and not some guy made from a small and repetitive library of parts.

Still, it’s a lot to take in. Clutch has gone from a nondescript bearded soldier to a clean-shaven guy in neon orange sci-fi armor. I feel like if he hadn’t been a Mega Marine, he’d have a little more identity of his own, but sadly this is a fairly homogeneous group of toys, so Clutch doesn’t stand out too much. I like his colors and the look of his outfit, but it’s very hard for me to see this as Clutch.

Clutch comes with almost the exact same accessories as Mega-Marines Gung-Ho and several other figures, which includes Muskrat’s shotgun and machete, Tracker’s MP5K, ‘91 Grunt’s rifle, a missile launcher, two missiles, stand and moldable bio-armor (playdoh and a mold for it). As generic parts, it’s an okay runner especially for being in black, but also pretty lame since it was used so much. At the very least, most of these weapons are realistic, easy to hold and look good, so having a surplus of them was a pretty okay thing.

You can get a mint complete Clutch for around $15, and he isn’t too hard to find. Sacrifice the generic accessories and you can save a few bucks, though overall they don’t seem to add much to his value either. As an obscurity this Clutch is a kind of neat figure, but I’m also pretty sure he’s no one’s favorite Clutch. He’s very 90‘s and looks decent in his own way, but also has nothing especially fun or unique going for him. In other words: he’s mediocre.

1993 Clutch (Mega Marines) Links:

Clutch Prototype at Forgotten Figures

JoeADay

3D Joes

Half the Battle

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol)

Posted on September 12, 2022 by mwnekoman

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about a New-Sculpt era figure, though as always I know only a very, very small contingent of people still care about these. The modern attitude towards these figures seems to almost represent toy collectors in a nutshell, where the newest, coolest thing renders the old thing obsolete, because the new thing is superior and caters to contemporary trends and interest, only to be made dated and obsolete by the next new thing, which is superior, modern and everything you wanted until the next new thing… It’s an unending cycle of consumerism. With GI Joe, it’s especially pronounced since virtually no part of the brand has had staying-power since ARAH.

Which sort of leads into me implying that the Spy Troops Tele-Viper is actually a fantastic and underrated sculpt . It’s not. The toy has terrible proportions and soft-sculpting to an extent that actually looks worse than the ‘85 Tele-Viper, which is 19 years older than it. His arms are a pair of logs, he has no waist, and the head’s sort of small. It all makes for a figure that looks cheaper than it should be, but there’s still some charm to be had here; just not in the sculpt.

As a toy, the Tele-Viper (in this case, Python Patrol Tele-Viper) is pretty fun. It’s mainly for his parts, which I’ll get to below, but the toy is still playable and has the same basic charms ARAH figures did in the 80‘s. Comparatively, there aren’t very many 1/18 scale figures that are as fun to fiddle with, even to this day. Most of what you see today is collector targeted, making it expensive, fragile, and typically rather drab. Among this figure’s contemporaries, there’s barely anything to make note of besides some crumby The Corps! figures. Spin Master makes the new DC/Batman figures, and those are probably the only modern things I can think of that compare pretty well as toys.

This Python Patrol Tele-Viper has my favorite version of the Python Patrol color-scheme. It’s mostly gray, with a black and red grid pattern on a few bits, and some gold. It’s very drab and muted, but the poopy adult in me thinks it looks pretty good. The prior Spy Troops release of the mold had some pretty punchy colors between the purple and the bright, contrasting details, so a more muted figure is welcome for the repaint.

His parts are actually cool! I feel like I spend my accessories paragraph typically bitching about Sound-Attack tabs, Rock-Viper rifles, random Ninja Force parts with 80‘s figures and other such problems, but this toy has some okay gear. Included is a microphone, a walkie-talkie, a shoulder radio, a Streetsweeper shotgun, and a pistol. The easily lost microphone feels like an unwanted flashback to every lost mic in the past, but it looks nice on the figure either way. The walkie-talkie is extremely small and not as fun as Firefly’s classic part, but again, it looks okay, and is much better with a figure that has smaller hands.

The Streetsweeper is particularly odd as an inclusion, though I love it and am very glad it exists. In real life this is a somewhat obscure and odd weapon from the 80‘s, originally sold in Rhodesia as the Striker. The Rhodesia tie especially makes this gun interesting to me, since that’s where Major Bludd’s wanted for war crimes. It was later simplified into the Streetsweeper, with several important features removed when it was sold in the US. Because it’s extremely shitty, it found a better life as a prop-gun for movies and the like. The details only seem okay on the GI Joe version of this gun, but it’s nicely scaled and not even too scary for vintage hands; in particular, I used to give it to Motor Vipers a lot as a weapon they could ride with.

You don’t see these left to open pricing so much, but when you do, the figure might fetch $7 at best. It took 90‘s Joes thirty years to present much value on the market, so I’ll be curious if anyone starts to miss Valor vs Venom by 2032. To be honest, I still don’t think there’s that much 90‘s nostalgia, so I’m very doubtful we’ll ever see interest return to these 00‘s sculpts. In a broader sense, most of the nostalgia-driven culture we see today is really just escapism from the bleak reality that is life in the post-millennium. If better times ever come, you’ll probably not see this to such an obnoxious extent.

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol):

GeneralsJoesReborn

Half the Battle

Streetsweeper at Forgotten Weapons

1992 Barbecue

Posted on August 30, 2022 by mwnekoman

1992 Barbecue

Eco-Warriors are a fun subset. Extremely corny, but as a concept they work perfectly in the world of GI Joe, as chemical warfare is a real and scary thing. Of course, the comics and what not usually put the focus on pollution, because that’s a little bit more of a gentle thing than having GI Joe entering an urban wasteland after Cobra attacks with sarin gas or white phosphorous. It was also a great way for Hasbro to bring back older characters like Barbecue, who logically fit somewhat on the team given his prior role as a firefighter (though oddly, Airtight was nowhere to be found).

I like this mold a lot better when it was reused three different ways in Star Brigade as Payload, though that doesn’t mean the original release as Barbecue was bad at all. Him and all of his color variations were prominent in my childhood as various different things, which I think speaks to the strength of the sculpt. Part of what makes this figure fun is that he’s almost creepy in that hazmat suit, especially with the way his face is obscured by the clear plastic visor. Often times as a kid I’d use him and the Payloads as cyborg Cobras akin to BATs, though other times he was just a lonely astronaut who’d typically die some painful death.

Compared to V1 Barbecue, this release seems much less distinct, though I think he’s a little bit cooler overall. Naturally, he loses some of that distinctness from the repaints that came later, though Deep Six also looks a lot like this figure in some ways. Still, Barbecue as an Eco-Warrior seems a little more applicable to a few different situations than the more standard firefighter he was originally. Oddly, it’s a pretty even trade off, as most of what makes this version cool also makes him just another Eco-Warrior, whereas most of what made ‘85 Barbecue cool, also made him very niche.

The red and yellow colors are somewhat pleasing to look at. I do often think of ketchup and mustard when I see him, but that’s tasty, so I don’t mind. The red is a nice shade and isn’t too bright, so he looks pretty reasonable for the role he serves. With that said, imagining this mold in the original’s orange and grey makes me think that was a bit of a missed opportunity for a repaint, but I’m also sure that not too many others would’ve wanted that.

Barbecue’s parts straight up suck. That’s partly because the only parts you get are his squirt gun and a figure stand. While the 1991 Eco-Warriors came with some traditional accessories, Barbecue and the Toxo-Zombie from 1992 only come with the squirt guns. You can find any number of generic black or yellow guns from the same time-period to equip Barbecue with and he’ll look fine, but it does diminish the figure’s appeal a lot when he doesn’t even come with one unique part of his own.

Astoundingly, this has become a fairly expensive figure ranging from $20 to $25 for a decent example. Part of that is probably owed to the fact that his clear visor falls out on some examples, making it a tad rarer and to the fact that the ‘92 Eco-Warriors were produced in smaller numbers. But seriously, complete ‘92 Barbecues now often outprice complete ‘85 Barbecues, and both represent a C-tier character. I hope I live to see the day when 90‘s Joes are worthless again.

1992 Barbecue Links:

2002 Skullbuster

Posted on August 22, 2022 by mwnekoman

2002 Skullbuster

The 2002 GI Joe line is now 20 years old, which amusingly, is the same age ARAH was at when GI Joe vs Cobra came out. It’s weird to me, because I was still a kid when these came out, and yet they don’t really feel that old. Meanwhile ARAH has always felt ancient to me, probably because all of it mostly predates my birth (my first GI Joes were the Ninja Force and Armor Tech overstock that was available into the late 90‘s). Sadly, I think this is the difference between an 80‘s brand that had a lasting cultural impact, compared to a neglected 2000‘s revival of said brand, only supported by adults. I don’t think these toys feel old since they seem more like a collector novelty, than toys from the era of VHS tapes, rotary phones and the Cold War. Then again, Skullbuster really has the hallmarks of something from a bygone era, so maybe I’m off the mark on all of that.

So Skullbuster is a repaint of the Range Viper, in colors that if I recall, were meant to resemble Skeletor. It’s very odd and not much like something you’d see Hasbro sell today; Now GI Joe is all about the established characters within the IP. In ‘02 though, there was enough curiosity left in the brand, that Hasbro would resurrect a sculpt from 11 years prior, and sell it as a new character. It’s much more low-effort compared to the brand from the 80‘s, but it’s also something fun and creative, in sharp contrast to the serious adult doll buying community who’s catered to now.

Skullbuster has some strange colors that stick out quite a bit. He’s closer to eye-catching than he is gaudy, but it’s a colorful figure either way. The use of an almost metallic purple for the base plastic was a strange choice, though it looks pretty strong with the copper details that adorn much of the figure. There’s a long Cobra tampograph that runs down his pant leg: It’s an odd choice for a detail, but it works much better than the GI Joe equivalent of having the brand’s logo on a leg.

The Range Viper sculpt was a pretty odd one to make so many reappearances in the 2000‘s. Before Skullbuster, you had the ‘00 Rock Viper, followed by half the mold showing up as the Cobra Imperial Guard in ‘05. Next, the mold was put in desert colors for the ‘06 Flaming MOTH release. I’ve always been pretty pleased with this assortment of repaints, though I had thought the Range Viper was not so popular when many of these came out. Lucky me I guess.

Skullbuster’s gear is bad. Oddly, although he comes packaged with a green version of the Range Viper’s backpack, that part belongs to Heavy Duty. Whereas Skullbuster gets the backpack from ‘91 Low-Light. As well, he gets a Sound Attack version of Spearhead’s rifle, and ‘92 Destro’s pistol. The backpack is very random, and the Sound Attack gimmick ruins everything it touches, so the only real part of and decency here is the pistol.

Surprisingly, Skullbuster fetches between $16 to $20, seemingly regardless of his completeness. I’m a little shocked by this as I assumed he was too much of an obscurity for anyone to really care, but from the looks of it a Skullbuster will cost you a little more than at least a few of his contemporaries. I’m sure it would be less if he were easier to find, though oddball 2000‘s figures really aren’t in good supply any more, so I’m sure that has a lot to do with it.

2002 Skullbuster Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

Photo by Scarrviper 1

Photo by Scarrviper 2

1988 Windmill

Posted on July 5, 2022 by mwnekoman

1988 Windmill

In the past, I’ve considered Windmill one of the worst figures in the line. That’s sort of by a loose standard, as if I told you the real “worst GI Joe ever”, it’d be nothing but Shadow Ninjas, since those fail as functional toys. Windmill has no such flaw, but he’s exceedingly ugly to look at, and that’s something that holds him back quite a bit.

His sculpt is surprisingly decent, maybe with the exception of his head. His flight-suit is well detailed, and he even has a little respirator sculpted onto his chest too. His face in unremarkable, but well scaled and reasonably sharp. The only real issue here is his colors. After careful examination, his helmet doesn’t even look that bad by GI Joe standards, it just looks weird and like he has cat-ears because of the bad coloring (there’s a lot of different helmet-mounted displays out there, and some of them look pretty wacky). A lot of real helicopter pilots wear helmets with weird crap all over it, but it doesn’t come across right because of the paint.

Arguably, the worst aspect of Windmill is his colors. The combination of orange and green makes it hard to make out his details, and the black bits on top of it create some harsh tonal crush. For comparison, the similarly obscure Skid-Mark also has similar colors to Windmill, but he’s saved by having a more balanced palette overall, with black used much more sparingly. The Funskool version of this figure does a much better job of showing his details, though it’s red and blue colors aren’t very preferable to me. Maybe someday I’ll custom paint one in V1 Ace’s colors just for something to do.

He includes a single gun, which is a large revolver. In the past, I’ve disliked this gun quite a bit just for how badly out of scale it is, but I’ve grown to see it has some unique merits, and isn’t that badly out of scale by GI Joe standards. In all of ARAH, there’s 4 revolver sculpts (Backstop’s, Downtown’s, ’92 General Hawk’s and this one), which makes it fairly distinct, especially if you’re looking to expand your pistol collection. It also has a nice, skinny handle that makes it possible for figures to hold it well, unlike the terrible Shockwave pistol. It’s size makes me think of something you’d see Yosemite Sam totting around, probably because it’s a revolver, but in actuality, it’s a similar length to most GI Joe pistols (all of the formerly mentioned revolvers are 30mm or longer).

So, I used to hate Windmill. I thought he was a terribly ugly looking figure, with a strange sculpt and a cartoonish looking gun. Now, I find him to be more usable, as the sculpt really isn’t horrible, and the pistol I’ve even developed some fondness for. All of that aside, I still think he looks ugly, which relegates him to a very low-tier as a GI Joe pilot. There’s simply plenty of other figures that fill the niche this guy does, and look far less garish at the same time. Still, he’s a fun toy that can sit and hold his gun without breaking, which makes him factually better than a Shadow Ninja, therefore, he’s no longer a “worst GI Joe” in my eyes.

Windmill is still a dirt-cheap figure, now and presumably forever. You can get a Windmill with his pistol for a measly $5, or less. It’s a common toy and a character of virtually no reference in any GI Joe fiction, so there’s simply no interest in him. That’s sort of a nice thing too, as I highly appreciate figures I can buy cheaply for a spare gun or to have fun painting, which is something current market has made very prohibitive.

1988 Windmill Links:

Forgotten Figures

3D Joes

Custom by Jogunwarrior

Half the Battle

2005 Firefly

Posted on June 13, 2022 by mwnekoman

2005 Firefly

The 2000‘s comic 3-packs were pretty notorious for their poor execution. This Firefly, however, has always been considered an exception to that, by most. It stands out, as for years most of these figures saturated clearance isles and were things nobody wanted from the aftermarket. There’s some reasons why this Firefly is a step above the standard fair for these releases, though, I also imagine he’s popular just because he’s Firefly.

Probably the worst thing about this figure was that he came stuffed in a pack with Scrap-Iron and Serpentor. Really, that shouldn’t be a bad thing, but it should be obvious that Firefly is way more popular than his packmates. A problem with multi-packs, is that the strongest figures rarely as often help oddities sell as it is that the oddities drag down those strong figures. Generally, Serpentor is not so popular, and there’s pretty much never been anyone with a desire for play-doh Scrap-Iron. I was able to get the whole set MOSC years after it came out for near retail price.

A recurring trait that ruins many of these figures was their ridiculously small heads. Firefly is nice, because for some reason his head is only somewhat small. He also has a really tight head-sculpt with a pronounced expression under his mask. It looks intense and has a bit more character than his first sculpt. It’s certainly one of the few cases where this head is a decent alternative to the vintage head it replaced, which usually was not the case with these releases.

His colors are fairly strong. Hasbro had done pretty much anything you could possibly want from the Firefly mold up to this point, so returning him back to his original grays was a good choice for a send-off. Another thing I like about this figure, is that it’s much easier to see a lot of his nice sculpted details in comparison to V1 Firefly. In contrast to his light gray tones, he features a lot of black and silver on his various straps and holsters, which does well to highlight those details.

For parts, you get all of ‘84 Firefly’s gear, just now in black. That includes his KEDR-B submachine gun, his backpack with tool tray, and his tiny walkie-talkie. That’s not too special for Firefly, but it’s another thing that strengthens the quality of this release regardless. I was always much more fond of the olive color used for the original parts, but the full roster of gear in black looks okay. It’s weird how Firefly’s gun is somewhat married to the character, I guess KEDR’s might’ve been a little rare until they were fully produced in ‘94. Though in a Joe-fan’s mind, you’d think this would be a decent sidearm for all of your HISS Drivers and Motor Vipers, ignoring the suppressor.

Somewhat of an oddity that this figure made me realize, is that most people take horribly boring photos of Firefly. That includes myself, as most of my photos to this point are ones of Firefly standing around in the dark. It seems with others if Firefly isn’t in the dark, he’s being used almost interchangeably with an army builder or some mook. It’s just something odd to me, as you’d think the beloved Cobra saboteur would be in a lot of places doing exciting things, but most of us just seem to show him standing around. It doesn’t have much to do with this figure, just something I noticed I’d like to work on, personally.

Comic pack Firefly goes for about $18 loose and complete, and from $50 to $70 sealed. It’s a nice figure, so in the current market I can understand why he’s developed some value. The people paying $70 for sealed sets however, are certifiably nuts. It will be funny once the bubble bursts and “I paid a lot for that!” becomes a common catchphrase. Paying huge premiums for common, junk comic-pack figures is about is absurd as it gets, especially when you consider that many of these figures are yellowing in package, or now feature cracking chests. It’s very telling of the market insanity that people would pay so much for figures this shoddy.

2005 Firefly Links:

1987 Taurus

Posted on June 6, 2022 by mwnekoman

1987 Taurus

A lot of Joe fans classically dropped out at 1987, and for years it was generally held as the year Joe quit being cool. This was probably caused in large part just by ARAH’s older fans aging out at that point, though there’s a definite shift in ‘87 that I don’t think struck a chord with most. The Cobra’s became way sillier, the colors became brighter, and the toys were largely pushed by GI JOE THE MOVIE, which was polarizing to say the least. Taurus has a lot of those hallmarks, though I think he’s an underutilized character in spite of all that.

Of the Renegades, Taurus is probably the least popular. Everyone loves Mercer, and while Red Dog isn’t that popular, he garners some interest from time to time. Taurus though, seems like one of the least popular Joes in the line. I suppose I could imagine some reasons as to why, including the yellow shirt, ‘86-style bulbous head, red eyes, and his relative lack of a specialty. The last one’s kind of a recurring problem with the Renegades, as while most GI Joes represent some odd military role, these guys were just churned out in a three-pack as what feels like A-Team expies. I see some good in that, though the Renegades as whole feel kind of phoned-in.

Because of his formerly mentioned lack of a fan base, I got a Taurus figure off eBay when I was 15. He was an early addition to my o-ring collection at a time when I was changing how I thought about life and toys in some ways, so I have some biassed sentiment around him. Back then, my parents thought Paypal was a scam that would get all of your money stolen, so I could only buy stuff off eBay when I had enough for a $25 pre-paid card to use. Because of this, I was very limited in what I could buy, and I’d always have a few dollars left over where I could only get something really cheap. Thanks to that though, I took notice of Taurus, who’s toy I’d never seen before, and who I barely remembered from the movie. It was fun for a few dollars, and it gave me the opportunity to discover a figure that seemed totally new, and find an interesting role for in my collection.

His bio is both somewhat interesting, and yet leaves something to be desired. His birthplace being Istanbul definitely makes me think about where’s he’s been and how he might’ve ended up with GI Joe, but the rest of the card doesn’t say much about that. The text about the Renegades is interesting, though there’s nothing much about Taurus besides the typical crazy/dumb tough-guy shtick. I like to imagine him as more of an intelligence operative, always discreetly gathering information in key areas, often operating alone. Also, because I hate The White Clown from the comics, I like to imagine Taurus replacing him in those stories, like in #66. Since The White Clown was a civilian and not a Joe, I just adapt it to imagine that most Joes think Taurus is a civilian, not knowing he’s actually on their team.

Taurus has a pretty solid sculpt too, though there’s elements I can imagine might bother some more than others. As I mentioned before, he’s got a somewhat bulbous head, though, I’m not really offended by it that much. I think the facial hair kind of hides how big it is (A benefit also enjoyed by Ripper.), While I kinda like the distinct look it has, his knee-pads bother me a bit for the way it looks when you bend his knees. Overall, he’s got a really strange look with the pointy shoulders, yellow shirt, sculpted facial hair and a few other details, but I like it. The character has room for a lot of creative liberties given that he’s not meant to be a stereotypical military professional.

Because this was the figure I got as a broke teen, I never got Taurus’s parts. Though, part of the reason I was okay with that (and never rectified it), is that his parts aren’t all that great. Like the other Renegades, Taurus’s backpack is just a rust-colored version of Recondo’s. His other part is a pistol, apparently a Claridge Hi-Tec C9. When I first got this figure, I saw that gun online and thought it just looked like an undetailed carbine, but I wasn’t aware it was based on a real gun. I’m always fairly stunned by some of the obscure guns featured in ARAH, and while they may have just been pulled from a gun magazine, I think it shows some impressive attention to detail. Still, I don’t often find an obscure pistol to be the most interesting choice of weapon for him, and the recycled backpack definitely makes the release seem more like filler.

A complete Taurus tends to sell around $10, though the pricing is oddly inconsistent on him. Occasionally, he goes for closer to $20, which is odd and certainly way more than he’s worth. Taurus has an advantage over Red Dog in that his pistol is much larger, and thus much harder to lose. I find a lot to like in him, but realistically, he’s a c-tier figure at best, and it’s hard to imagine someone paying more than a few dollars for him.

gi joe renegade 1987 arah Taurus cobra hasbro vintage toy

An old photo from when I was 15. Pretty terrible, but it’s a fun memory and serves as an example of him always being a solo-operator in my world.

1987 Taurus Links:

Half the Battle

3D Joes

Joe Battlelines

1994 Viper

Posted on May 30, 2022 by mwnekoman

1994 Viper

Although I’ve actually talked about the Battle Corps Viper on here before, that post was from a different time, years ago, when I hadn’t really figured out what was doing with this blog. That’s important to note, because rehashing old topics isn’t really something I feel like doing, yet I have a lot I want to say about this figure, so he’s kind of an exception to that.

Without a doubt, the Battle Corps Viper is one of the coolest Battle Corps toys, and honestly one of the best Vipers ever made. I don’t think he’s better than the original Viper’s design, just because I can’t really see this one filling the same role that that figure does. This version of the Viper looks less utilitarian, and more like an intimidating soldier of the future, with state-of-the-art gear that can take a few hits. He’s been various things to me at various points, though what I’ve settled on is an elite soldier in top-class combat gear. He can move quickly, but also take repeated gun shots without stopping. Perhaps this figure’s only flaw is that he looks like something more than just a basic Viper.

There’s so much detail going on with this sculpt to comment on. The look of his helmet is both unique among GI Joe designs, but also reminiscent of something a little pulpy and old. Personally it kind of reminds me of something you’d have seen out of Japan from decades prior, like the Cyborg Men from Cyborg 009, or maybe a little like Hakaider (though, it’s probably the pointy shoulders that remind me more of Hakaider). It cements them in my mind as intimidating foes; though it’s also an interesting direction they took with the Viper’s design. Making this connection and then thinking about the live-action GI Joe advertisement from the time, I’m left wondering if Tokusatsu was an inspiration behind this look. Probably a stretch, but nerds have always liked Japan, so maybe not too unrealistic.

This figure’s always been a favorite of mine, though my opinions have come and gone on his colors. Back in my teenage years I used to stare at this figure, and contemplate what he could’ve been with better colors. Of course, there was the drool worthy Iron Anvil figure floating around, which for a while I wanted much more than this one. Then at some point, my opinions flipped, and I’ve been stuck ever since feeling like the Iron Anvil was shallow and largely a missed opportunity for something else, while this figure became the more interesting usage of the mold in my mind. I think part of that’s because both visually and in terms of story, the Iron Anvil doesn’t really have anything new going on, where as this guy seems more like an interesting and unique Cobra, that doesn’t look just like every other figure in his faction.

This mold still could’ve been so much. With how expensive and tedious factory customs have become, someone like TBM bringing back this sculpt could really reel me back in from my recent wave of disinterest. Coil colors, Red Shadows, Arctic, Jungle, Cobra CAT… Heck, put out a Cobra La color-scheme reminiscent of the Royal Guard. It’s really just a shame that such a solid sculpt was only reused once, and in none other than the Iron Grenadier “magic-sauce” colors.

For parts, you get Monkeywrench’s speargun, a ’91 Toxo Viper pistol, ’92 Spirit’s pistol, the Hydro Viper’s knife, and a figure stand all in bright red, with a requisite missile launcher and missiles (‘93 Alley Viper’s). From when I was a kid until now, I really loved how that Toxo Viper pistol looked with him. In my mind, this was an experimental and highly dangerous weapon, like a railgun, that could even penetrate tank armor. Some of his gear takes a little imagination to rationalize, but I like it more than I really should. Plus, if you use the logic of an FPS game, that trident-launcher is probably the most deadly weapon after a riot-shield.

A ‘94 Viper will now run you around $15 for a complete example, but you can get partless figures for army-building for around $8. Unfortunately though, this figure has gotten a lot harder to find. Most of that probably has to do with eBay’s seller policies being so crappy now, compared to years ago, but regardless you won’t find figures like this as often as you used to. When you can find them though, he’s relatively cheap for a ‘94 figure, which is still a nice thing to see.

1994 Viper Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

3D Joes