1986 Low-Light

Posted on September 6, 2021 by mwnekoman

1986 Low-Light

Low-Light’s a figure that hits all the right notes, which makes him a favorite for me and probably most other Joe fans. His character was great in Sunbow, his toy had a fantastic specialty, and it’s colors were perfect. He’s not perfect, and I think he might be a slight step-down in quality from some of the ‘85 icons, but he’s still probably one of the best GI Joe figures ever made.

I feel like for myself, Low-Light offers an alternative to Snake Eyes, especially after Snake Eyes became primarily a ninja. In my mind, he’s a top-tier commando badass who can do basically anything, and sometimes may have been a slight Golgo 13 expy. This is also what I’ve usually used Commando Snake Eyes as, but I really just don’t like Snake Eyes that much, so Low-Light suits me better. He has a face and a personality that Snake Eyes lacks, and also isn’t caught up in the overexposed Arashikage plot-line, which tied up a few too many characters in my opinion.

Low-Light’s design is super cool. He has one of those futuristic vests you saw a lot in his year, with figures like Roadblock and Cross-Country. The quality of the sculpt is very strong, and the details are both crisp and plentiful on him. I also really like his goggles, which make him look a tad more mysterious, and also introduce a nice splash of red to an otherwise drab figure. There’s enough zippers and pockets on Low-Light to almost make him look busy, but it works in the figure’s favor, especially helped by having enough paint to make these details stand out nicely.

There’s one thing that bugs me about Low-Light, and it’s his head. Like a lot of the ‘86 cast, his head is pretty big. I think it’s a bit better than Beachhead’s, but it’s still on the larger end. I think I’ve commented on it before, but the big heads in ‘86 are just bizarre to me. It seems like a lot of the ‘85 figures were moving towards more solid proportions with what you can see in Flint, Alpine, Footloose and others, but then we go back to big heads a year later. It doesn’t ruin the figure or anything close, but it’s always something that stuck out to me about figures from this year.

A classic part of the figure is his gear. He included a sniper-rifle, an uzi, and a nice black backpack. The sniper rifle appears to be an Enfield L39A1, though years ago I always assumed it was an M14. It’s a really nice sculpt with a night-scope, and a detachable bipod. Of course, the bipod is flimsy and seems to be always missing, but it’s a nice play feature either way. The uzi got around to a few other figures, and is the same one later included with Law and Order. It’s inclusion here is nice, as it really provides Low-Light with some action oriented roles and allows him to be more than a guy taking pot-shots with a sniper-rifle.

In my opinion, ‘86 Low-Light is the only Low-Light you really need, but the subsequent uses of the mold, and updates to the character are all pretty solid too. This mold got a great repaint in Slaughter’s Marauders, and then was used in green for an ‘08 Joecon figure. Sadly, the SM figure is very brittle, and the Joecon figure is worth a fortune, while not really providing anything this figure doesn’t already give. As an alternative, there’s the ‘91 sculpt which had strong colors, and two fun repaints. I like that toy, but I’ve never really liked it as Low-Light for the lack of his cap and goggles.

Finding a complete Low-Light seems to be mildly tough, as they’re usually missing either the bipod or the uzi. Despite that, he’s extremely common, and also not very expensive, running around $20 for a complete figure, and between $6 to $10 for one missing a part or two. I’m surprised he’s not been hit worse by the price surge of late, though, maybe that’s a sign things are slowly winding down on that note.

1986 Low-Light Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

Icebreaker’s HQ

1993 Balrog

Posted on August 23, 2021 by mwnekoman

1993 Balrog

In hindsight, the 90‘s Street Fighter II crossover was somewhat surreal. I say this, because GI Joe has very rarely done this sort crossover, and really hasn’t done anything like it ever since. Now, that doesn’t count the multitude of times GI Joes have been recycled into other toy lines, which you saw back in the 90‘s for Mortal Kombat, and even in recent years for The Hulk, and Jurassic Park most recently. Heck, even the comic-inspired Transformers Crossover sets were something that only existed as SDCC exclusives, and somewhat phoned-in ones at that.

One could look at the series as a desperate attempt to keep GI Joe relevant on Hasbro’s end, but I personally think it was well played. While none of these toys are spectacular, Hasbro pretty much picked the best 90‘s gaming franchise to tie into GI Joe. Of course, that’s not to say I wouldn’t have welcomed a Megaman X crossover, but I already had a Sigma via Armor Tech Destro, so I didn’t need that anyway.

Balrog is a real highlight among the Street Fighter figures. He’s entirely a repaint of Big Boa, with a new head. Frankly, I like this figure a lot better than Big Boa, and I feel he actually integrates into the Cobra design aesthetic better. The blue on his pants is more in line with Cobra blue, and the new head looks more reasonable than Big Boa’s. The Club used this head for Lt. Claymore, and that was a surprisingly good repaint on their part, though sometimes I still just prefer this Balrog to him.

In my mythos, Balrog is a Cobra strongly affiliated with the Dreadnoks, so while he’s not an official member of that group, he’s best-buddies with Torch and Ripper. In ways, I kind of imagine him being a hybrid of Burnout and Lt. Claymore, and using him this way gives him a little more versatility. Primarily, he functions as a Cobra drill sergeant, but he also doubles as a field commander and a liaison to the Dreadnoks, who are often difficult to negotiate with.

The parts were pretty cool with Balrog, though I’ve never personally acquired a complete example. He included virtually identical boxing gloves to the ones Big Boa had, just sans the Cobra symbols. Other than that, he included most of the same parts found with the Headhunter Storm Trooper and a few other figures, which were: ‘92 Destro’s pistol, the Rock Viper rifle, ‘88 Shockwave’s knife, and the launcher from the Headhunter Storm Trooper, with an extra hook-missile only shared with Blanka.

There’s a second Balrog that came out in the Street Fighter movie line, which is an even cooler repaint of Salvo, with this toy’s head. I’ve tried getting one on and off for years, but at this point I’ve settled on this version as that figure is much harder to find at a fair price. It also does not have the benefit of improving an older sculpt in the way that this ‘93 repaint salvages the Big Boa mold.

Street Fighter figures like Balrog used to fall into the category me and some others knew as “dolla-hollas”. Like with everything else now though, they tend to cost a bit more, and are a bit harder to find. Complete Balrog’s are pretty hard to come by, and seem to fetch about $45, though you can get an incomplete one around $15, which is a reasonable option since most of his parts are generic.

1993 Balrog Links:

3DJoes

Half the Battle

1993 Mudbuster

Posted on August 10, 2021 by mwnekoman

1993 Mudbuster

90‘s GI Joe figures are awesome; 90‘s GI Joe vehicles however, more often suck. I have some I really like, but it seems like in most cases, the good 90‘s vehicles are only “mostly okay”, while the bad vehicles are really bad, at least compared to the quality of the 80‘s line. The Mudbuster is one of the former, and is an overall, mostly okay party wagon.

The Mudbuster is essentially a pickup truck with a turret in the back, which I have to admit, feels pretty unimpressive for the world’s most daring anti-terror task force. Sometimes I rationalize GI Joe having more primitive equipment like this, by ignoring the code name and imagining a scenario where vehicles like the Mudbuster are pieced together on the job, from civilian vehicles found in third-world countries where a mission is taking place. At the very least, the Mudbuster gives my imagination something more to work with than the Battle Wagon, which is a similar thing but way worse.

As a basic truck-type toy, the Mudbuster is a lot of fun and a nice contemporary vehicle to a collection of 90‘s Joe items. As a kid, this was a go-to vehicle for me from my brother’s collection, with the only vehicles I really liked more being the Tiger Sting, the Lynx, and the Brawler. The Mudbuster is small, easy to play with, and can fit a generous number of Joes for what it is.

Overall, the Mudbuster feels pretty solid, at least when compared to something terrible like the Rat. However, 90‘s cheapness is apparent here, which is part of why I consider this vehicle less when compared to a similar 80‘s item. I very much dislike the emptiness of it’s interior, which does not feature a steering wheel like the VAMP. Despite this, the driver’s area is still somewhat cramped, especially for the beefy 90‘s sculpts that would be intended to sit in it.

The gimmicks feel pretty basic, there’s a battering-ram on the front bumper that works using a rubber-band and a button in the truck-bed. Personally I think it’s pretty lame, and the band won’t last too well either. Getting a figure to pose with the turret is a pain; it’s doable, but it also feels like a really good way to break a thumb or heel at this point. The launcher had some weird grappling-hook type thing that you could tie to the vehicle, and to be honest, I also think this is rather dumb looking, and a weak point to the vehicle overall. It looks better with the spare missiles that come with it, which is kind of neat: it includes three unique missiles that can all be stored in the back.

The Mudbuster’s colors are decent. Overall, the turquoise and blue is a good look and the vehicle isn’t as obnoxiously colored as something like the Badger. The only bad thing is that it’s still pretty incohesive, and the turquoise really breaks the feeling of this thing being a piece of military equipment. Then again, going back to my earlier narrative, it’s a little more believable if you contemplate it as a retrofitted civilian vehicle.

Mudbuster’s are super common, you can usually get a complete one for around $15 or less. I don’t have a particular obsession with trucks, but a lot of people, especially rural people, really love trucks in any capacity, and I imagine that translated into a strong-selling vehicle in ‘93. These days, the Mudbuster probably isn’t a must-have vehicle, but it’s a nice piece for display with it’s contemporary toys. If you compare it to the VAMP, it’s a much weaker toy, but without that comparison, the Mudbuster is good enough on it’s own.

1993 Mudbuster Links:

Forgotten Figures

3D Joes

Joe A Day

1992 Duke

Posted on August 3, 2021 by mwnekoman

1992 Duke

I have no shortage of Duke figures, so when it comes to Duke, I can be picky. A lot of Duke figures are pretty good, but because I have so many others, their flaws render them less useful in my collection. A good example of a figure I never use, is 1992 Duke.

In my collection, this figure is mostly invalidated by both 1994 Duke, and Desert Patrol Stalker who uses the same sculpt in similar colors. That’s not really a knock against this figure, because this toy is good in it’s own right. However, I slightly prefer the sculpt and design of ‘94 Duke, and likewise, Stalker is a slightly more interesting use of the sculpt. With that, this becomes another Duke among many who doesn’t have much to do in my collection.

This figure is fairly memorable though, as the go-to design for a 90‘s Duke. You saw it pop up with some regularity in the contemporary media, which is more than I can say for Tiger Force Duke. I always associate this Duke mostly with the DIC cartoon, which for the most part, should be a bad thing, but it’s something at the very least.

The details of the sculpt are nice, and I like the design overall. However, the biggest issue is that the chest is overly buff. This is irritating, because the arms can’t even sit flush with the waist. Usually 90‘s buff sculpts aren’t so much of a problem, but he has a thick chest paired with thick arms, which unfortunately makes the figure look silly more often than not. Other than that, it’s a nice looking design. The vest has a nicely futuristic look to me, which I think matches nicely with the aesthetics we saw in the past from several figures. A lot of fans are also quick to make fun of V1 Duke’s smug, grinning expression, which is in contrast to the more stern, serious sculpt we see here.

The colors are perfect on this figure, at least to my sense of aesthetics. The beige and tans are a great tone, and the contrast of the red camouflage livens the figure up just enough, without being obnoxious. The gold paint on his grenade and a few other details also contrasts nicely without standing out too much. It was nice to see a figure with this much balance in it’s colors at this point in the line.

His parts aren’t my favorites, but they’re nice enough. Included is a brown rifle and knife, a helmet, and a missile-launcher, with missiles, seat and a tripod. The brown plastic on the rifle and knife strike me as being a little more delicate than typical, but other than that, the sculpts look well enough. The missile launcher is a mildly interesting contraption, as it can be both carried as a backpack, and sat on while in use. I think it looks silly, but it was neat that they were still trying new things. The missile launchers were much more phoned-in on figures from ’93 and ’94.

This mold and parts from it got more use than they probably should have. A fairly nice woodland-camo version came out in the 2001 ARAHC line, and it popped up again as the excellent, aforementioned Desert Patrol Stalker figure in ‘04. The arms and chest were used for ’01 Leatherneck, and the head and biceps were also used to make Agent Faces in ‘03, and later the biceps for all of the releases of the 2000‘s Crimson Guard and the Shadow Guard. The arms are easily the worst part of this toy, so it’s a shame they used them on the Crimson Guards from that era.

It’s easy to find this Duke in good shape, and mostly complete examples fetch around $15. With that said, he’s usually missing at least the knife, and it’s pretty common to find his gun broken too. Most of his parts besides his helmet really aren’t all that necessary though, and he looks pretty good in a 90‘s display without any of his parts. He’s not a must have figure, but he’s one that’s good enough to have, especially if you like 90‘s Joes.

1992 Duke Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

Joe A Day

2021 TBM Blue WORMS (Cobra Commander)

Posted on July 20, 2021 by mwnekoman

2021 TBM Blue WORMS (Cobra Commander)

You’d think with the endless amount of Cobra Commander figures Hasbro made over the years, the last thing I (or really, anyone) would be in great need of is more Cobra Commanders. However, the circumstances and novelty appeal of Black Major’s Cobra Commanders really hit me just right, so I went out of my way to acquire a couple of these.

This figure was mainly billed as custom WORMs, but those didn’t really work for me, for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that I like Hasbro’s WORMs so much, I use them in their normal colors regardless of the environment, so environment specific repaints don’t do much for me. Besides this, you could only get the WORMs in a big set at first, with one of each color. This also didn’t appeal to me very much, as I’d rather have several of my favorite army-builders, as opposed to one of each.

TBM did sell some figure individually, however, he only sold ones with Cobra Commander parts. This suited me fine, as again, I’m really fine with the Hasbro WORMs I already have. As a Cobra Commander figure, he picks up a few unique benefits, such as the fact that I’m fine with only having one, or that he doesn’t invalidate opportunities to use my normal WORMs that I like so much. I also think that these Cobra Commanders are very well done, which is all the justification I need to own some in various colors.

Today’s profile is of the blue coloration, which among the many variations of this figure, is my favorite. On a basic level, it doesn’t look too much different from a typical Cobra Commander figure, but the appeal is in the details. Far and away the most eye-catching detail is the Cobra-sigil painted over his hood. That in particular kind of makes me think of this figure as an ARAH rendition of JvC Cobra Commander.

The colors and paint are nice here. The details on the WORMs sculpt come across well, and the choice of using red contrasts nicely against the bright blue the figure uses. There’s some silver details, including some on his knees, which I think look weird. It’s especially irritating when the figure’s posed with his knees bent, as it highlights the joint there. Other than that, there’s enough painted details in different colors that the figure pops.

He includes some very odd choices for accessories. You get the Iron Grenadier’s Uzi, a generic ROC pistol, a 25th Snake Eyes knife, and a modified sculpt that I believe originates from a Grunt M16. Overall, I dislike them, as these sculpts are either bad or don’t work well with this figure. I do like the modified M16 though, as while it looks a little strange, it’s also something new and unique to this figure.

Currently, these figures are circulating around and are fairly available around $24. TBM himself sold through his stock of several colors in less than a day (hours?), which surprised me, although it will be interesting to see how much demand holds out for these figures. Ultimately, $24 is a lot for a figure, and probably too much even for this one, as nice as it is. Likewise, this isn’t really a figure you need huge squads of, even if you prefer the sculpt as the WORMs, so I expect the prices on these could stagnate at a certain point.

2017 RLA Odin

Posted on July 6, 2021 by mwnekoman

2017 RLA Odin

In the late 2010‘s, we really had it good with factory customs (AKA: bootlegs), so much so that the endless repaints of similar sculpts began to be something collectors took for granted, at least a little bit. In hindsight, it would seem things are winding down, at least for the moment, as RLA no longer operates, Letal Customs ended after a single run, and now even the Black Major is transitioning his business to other avenues.

I really respected RLA’s efforts to make figures that were more akin to a continued GI Joe line, as to an endless barrage of army-builders. Odin’s a great example of that, where he’s a unique character that gives me something new to invent a story around. Of course, I don’t think it sold all that well, which probably has to do with the fact that people weren’t buying them by the dozens.

So far, my character for this guy is essentially Col. Courage redux, and I also use him as a bit of an expy for Hawk, since I prefer the ‘86 figure to represent him. So he’s taken on the role of a field commander for some early Joes. I could probably do something more interesting with him, like have him be the leader of a prototype GI Joe team or something like that, but my GI Joe-verse is usually in a state of flux, so the idea can change based on my needs.

Obsidian is a nice looking figure. For the most part, it’s a repaint of ‘82 Hawk, but with the legs from ‘83 Airborne. This is a decent little parts mix that helps break up the monotonous look of the early Joes. Plus, rendering the sculpt in all gray colors with an African-American skin tone, goes further to make him not look like Hawk.

The quality was okay on these. On my figure, the joints aren’t particularly tight, but they’re also not loose either, kinda like the condition you’ll usually find a decent vintage figure in. The paint applications are somewhat janky, as there’s a lot of brown overspray on one of his forearms. Comparing him to my V1 Short-Fuze, I’m also tempted to say his head isn’t a perfect copy of the sculpt , either. Overall, it feels like a reasonably decent toy in hand, but there’s examples of where the quality could be better.

The parts are pretty lackluster. As I recall you get a generic knife and pistol similar to many of the ones included with the Steel Brigades of the same era. I say “as I recall” since I squirreled away my parts somewhere in a bag with a bunch of other bootleg guns. Worse yet, finding online documentation on these is actually pretty hard to do, so that was a pretty clumsy mistake on my part. Back to the point, he certainly didn’t come with any nice ‘82 guns he can hold, or a helmet, which was a bummer. This guy looks okay without one, and a lot of the old Accessory Pack helmets work nicely for him too, so there’s that.

Years later, Odins are hard to find, and a little hard to price. One sold a while back for $40, which actually seems fair given the difficulty in locating one. Other RLA customs don’t sell for so much though, and many of the contemporaries of this figure barely fetch $20. Truthfully, I don’t think Odins are worth much more than that, but at this point, you might be hunting for a while before you can find one at a fair price.

1985 Tomax & Xamot

Posted on June 29, 2021 by mwnekoman

1985 Tomax & Xamot

“They don’t fight with steel and claw, backed with muscle and honest sweat…The chase you with paper, wound you with your own laws and kill you with the money you loaned them.” In a lot of ways, there’s something interesting represented by the Crimson Guard Commanders, Tomax and Xamot. Mind you, I’m not overly fond of these two, mainly just for the fact that a: they’re a little corny and b: they’re fairly hard to use. Despite that, Tomax and Xamot are an interesting pair, both in execution, and in cannon.

I knew of Tomax and Xamot since I was kid because of their prevalence in the Sunbow cartoon. I thought they were neat, but they also didn’t interest me very much relative to other characters. When I had the chance to get the 25th figures back in ‘08, it excited me, but only so much before I lost interest in them. Then at some point around 2011, I got the original Crimson Twins, took one photo of them, and forgot about them just like with the 25th figures. For some reason, these guys just don’t stick in my mind the way other (and often, more obscure) Cobras do.

They are very cool characters however, it’s just that it’s part of what makes them hard to use. Re-reading their filecard, I find the references to the Algiers putsch and their involvement in the bush wars to make them a lot more interesting. Other than that though, they’re basically high-ranking corporate thugs. Which is interesting, but maybe not the most intense role for an action-figure terrorist.

The whole twin angle ranges from being reasonably fun to incredibly hokey depending upon what you watch or read. Probably part of why I found them to be corny in Sunbow, was the whole “feeling each other’s pain” thing. It was okay, but it also brings them a lot closer to the silly side of Cobra like with Raptor or Big Boa. Then again, they’re certainly a lot better than Zandar and Zarana, the twins from next year over.

The figures themselves look very nice, and display some very ornate sculpted details. There’s a lot of silver armor all over the figures, and while it’s prone to wear, it looks very nice in contrast to their Cobra-blue outfits. The only thing that really bugs me about them, is that they really aren’t identical. Xamot’s face is noticeably more chiseled than Tomax’s, especially when you look at his chin. I guess it’s the best they could do, but it’s always bugged me a bit.

The accessories are another area where the Crimson Twins are very weak. Included are two of the same gun (one each), and a hook they share. It’s okay that they’re light on accessories, but the gun included here was sadly one of the weakest sculpts in the entire line. Frankly, I really don’t know what it’s supposed to look like, and it just looks dumb with them (and worse with anyone it was later included with). It doesn’t hold the figures back too much, but compared to everything around them, these were some really bad parts.

Tomax and Xamot seem to be heavily affected by the current wave of anything-goes pricing. Some sets will sell for upwards of $60, others will barely muster $17, complete and in fine condition. At least it’s not as bad as the 25th figures, which are now routinely hitting $100… Back on topic, my Xamot’s actually pretty rough, so someday I might replace him since the prices on incomplete twins aren’t too bad, some of the time. But for now, he suits my needs for what he is.

1985 Tomax & Xamot Links:

Forgotten Figures

3D Joes

Joe a Day

Half the Battle: Tomax, Xamot

1987 Blaster

Posted on June 22, 2021 by mwnekoman

1987 Blaster

The Battle Force 2000 was a relatively decent set of toys, although the extent of their quality ends at that. It’s such an odd sub-team of figures, mostly sold in two-packs and all with such an overbearing sci-fi motif, that they wind up among the likes of Cobra-La in terms of unpopular groups. I mildly like most of them, but they all have similar problems and are noticeably less nice than the figures released around them.

The characterization of the BF2000 is a little weak overall, and Blaster’s no exception to this. It’s a little hard to care for him too much when he’s barely utilized in the comics, and his filecard can be summed up as “hovercraft guy”. Then you have the sculpt, which is nice, but also lacks too many features that say a lot about him. Ultimately, it reduces Blaster to being more of a generic background role rather than being someone I can use prominently most of the time.

It should be said though, that Blaster is a good looking toy, and works well enough apart from his group. His sculpt is very asymmetrical and a little random looking, but I appreciate the sci-fi aesthetic they were going for with this one. He always reminds me of this corny illustration of a “future soldier” from a 1990 DoD video documenting the Advanced Combat Rifle program. Because of this, I’ve always associated Blaster as being a guy who mainly does demo-videos of suspect military designs that will never see the light of day.

One thing Blaster really has over most of his BF2000 buddies, is his color-scheme. He’s got a fairly unique deco and camo-pattern which looks very nice on the figure. There’s also a good amount of paint applications here, which make Blaster look very detailed. While I very much dislike his asymmetrical gloves and those weird ringlet things, it does look more detailed with the extra paint there, so the detail makes up for the weaker parts of the sculpt. The only real gripe I have, is that his elbows appear to be clothed, but are cast in flesh-tone, oddly.

His accessories consisted of a mask and a gun. The mask is usually long-gone with these, as was the case with the one I got in a lot years ago. It’s a very non-essential part though, and he’s rarely depicted with it. As for the gun, I’d really love to know what happened over at Hasbro when they designed the BF2000 weapons. It’s a very terrible, blocky sculpt that the figure can barely hold. Most of the BF2000 had terrible guns like this, and it’s a noticeable step down from quality featured among most of his contemporaries.

Blaster’s are common, and even when complete barely top $15. If you dig around, you can probably still get one cheaper, and he’s very common in lots. In the crazy world of modern Joe pricing, he’s pretty cheap, but that probably just underscores how ambivalent the GI Joe fandom is to this group as a whole.

1987 Blaster Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

3D Joes

1992 Parasite

Posted on June 15, 2021 by mwnekoman

1992 Parasite

90‘s GI Joe vehicles were often not on the same level of quality as 90‘s GI Joe figures, at least in my opinion. Certain vehicle options were quite poor, or questionably designed in a way you never saw from the vehicles we got in the 80‘s. One very underrated gem amidst all of this however, is the Cobra Parasite. It’s a simple vehicle, but it’s nicely sized and has a ton of play value, enough that’s hard to believe it shares a release year with the RAT, at the very least.

The Cobra Parasite is basically a Cobra APC, and it does a good job of being a go-to party wagon for your 90‘s Cobras. It fills a similar role to the HISS II, and in comparison to that vehicle, the Parasite feels far more basic and simple. However, it overall does the job a lot better, as while it lacks the fancy railing and more detailed construction, it makes up for it by featuring a more spacious troop bay, which can carry 6 figures as opposed to the HISS II’s 4.

One little gimmick that’s often ignored is the top-mounted catapult. I really hate this part of the vehicle, so I can see why it’s usually given no attention. It works in the same way as the Incinerator’s catapult, though oddly enough I don’t think they really share any tooling. The worst thing about it is that it looks completely tacked on, and just detracts from the vehicle’s overall shape, which is quite pleasing otherwise.

The Parasite has an interesting look that I feel is pretty well in line with a lot of Cobra vehicle designs. It has a very angular geometry that fits in nicely with any of the HISS tanks, or other boxy ground vehicles like the Maggot. One flaw that might irk a good number of folks is that the driver is totally exposed in the front turret. It’s a little goofy, but it’s also in line with most other prominent Cobra vehicles, which typically provide their pilots little in the way of protection.

Fun-fact, did you know the wheels on the Parasite are shared with at least two other vehicles? Both the Hammerhead and the Blockbuster use the same wheels as the Parasite. It’s probably another way Hasbro was cheaping out at the time, but it’s actually kind of interesting since I don’t think I’ve ever seen too many people notice this.

The worst thing about the Parasite is by far it’s colors. They’re not only bright, they’re an obnoxious mixture of orange and purple, which clashes with almost everything. It would look a lot better even if it were just solid purple, but the orange is really hard to take seriously whenever you see it. A lot of GI Joe fans have breathed life into this vehicle by giving it a quick coat of paint, which can really show how much potential this vehicle has (see the links below). Sadly, Hasbro never brought this vehicle back in any way, and a repaint in the 2000’s could’ve been pretty popular if they did it right.

The price that Parasites go for now shows almost no consistency, and seems like another indicator of the current collecting bubble. Every now and then, a Parasite will hit some absolutely stupid price, like $40. Most of the time, they go between $10 and $25, which is already a pretty wide price range. Before the era of the COVID collector, these routinely went for dirt, and it was easy to get a complete one for no more than $15. It’s a very common vehicle and I think it’ll return to the $15 price tag before too long.

1992 Parasite Links:

Custom by Scrapiron-Scavanger

1983 Clutch

Posted on June 7, 2021 by mwnekoman

1983 Clutch

For most of my collecting years, I’ve typically ignored a lot of the ‘82/’83 First Thirteen Joes. I see the characters as being an integral part of the GI Joe universe, though at the same time, most of those toys leave something to be desired relative to the prices they maintain. 39 years ago, I think most of these were a lot more tolerable. For me though, it’s a little hard to justify ‘83 Hawk for example, when ‘86 Hawk is a nicer alternative, that’s a heck of a lot cheaper. Clutch, doesn’t fall into this dynamic quite as much.

Of the 1982 cast, certain figures had a little more individuality than others. Clutch happens to be one of those figures, as he has a unique torso, and only had to share his head with Breaker and Rock&Roll. It doesn’t put him in quite the same position as Stalker, or maybe even Snake Eyes, but he is a lot stronger than Short-Fuze, or Grand Slam. Even the reused head seems more forgivable, as beards tend to obscure your facial shape, which kind of makes people in real-life with full beards look more generic.

Of course, I think what makes Clutch for virtually everyone is his appearance in the Marvel comics. I didn’t particularly care for the character until I read the first Marvel issues sometime around ‘08. He stood out to me as one of the more fun and vibrant characters in those early issues, and it solidified my interest in his figures a lot more. Prior to that, I knew GI Joe through Sunbow reruns and the ’87 movie, where most of the ’82 cast plays almost no role.

Of course, most of the Clutch toys out there are relatively blase. Not a lot of bad ones, just not a lot of good ones, either. Besides this toy and it’s ‘84 recolor, there’s a Mega Marines figure who looks nothing like Clutch, a very mediocre Spy Troops figure, a comic-pack figure with anemic skin and a pea-head, a better looking and more expensive convention figure, and then a few post-25th releases of the character. Compared to the other attempts, the 25th and POC figures aren’t so bad really, but they’ll never look right with an o-ring collection, leaving this figure and the ‘84 release as the only decent representations of Clutch.

V1 Clutch is a fairly good looking figure. The unique torso is nice and leaves a strong impression at time when half of the figures on shelves had Grunt’s torso. The head is a fine sculpt as well, and didn’t age as poorly compared to later figures in the same way that Hawk and Grunt’s ugly mugs did. For a guy who’s just meant to sit in a jeep all day, there’s a surprising amount of care that was put into him.

His only accessory is a helmet, which isn’t of much detriment to him. It’s the same generic piece used on him and almost every other ‘82 Joe, but the toy was designed for the helmet and it looks good on him. I have always sort of wished there were some more pistols from this point in the line, as the Joes were fairly lacking in sidearm options in these first few years. The best you can give him is Snake Eye’s uzi or Mutt’s MAC-10, but there’s not a really good M1911 or anything like that.

Getting a good Clutch is surprisingly not too hard. At the current market’s prices, you can get a complete Clutch with a passable VAMP for $40 if you look around. A lot of Clutches sell for around $30, but he should really be worth less than that, especially when you consider that ones with the VAMP don’t go for much more. Also worth noting, that I’ve seen at least a couple of Clutches show up with swivel-arms, and fat crotches, implying that some people are passing off poorly pieced together frakenstiens of the ‘82 and ‘83 figure, as a legit example of either one.

1983 Clutch Links: