1986 Viper

1986 Cobra Viper

gi joe viper cobra 1986 vintage hasbro

For some reason, I’ve held off on writing about certain figures I consider important or prominent, as though I’ve needed time to come up with enough to say about a GI Joe toy as legendary as the Cobra Viper. Alas, between the blog being dead for the better part of a year  (Now going on two!) and it being this site’s 10th anniversary, I might as well chew on some thoughts about some classics I’ve left ignored. Also, after a decade putting a post about the Viper on the VIPER PIT seemed about right. Maybe.

Like many of the 1986 cast, the Viper is sort of a repeat of the Cobra Soldier. So there’s always been a slight divide between Viper people and Trooper people, usually having to do with what point you came into collecting at. Back when GI Joe forums were still relevant, it was funny seeing all the narrow-sighted criteria people would invent to justify what they do collect vs what they don’t, with the general theme being “I only like the stuff that was cool from before puberty, and not the stuff that was lame after gurlz”. Not that any of that’s really relevant anymore, as the modern o-ring collector seems so desperate for a hit of plastic even most of the neon-90’s stuff will find a home somewhere. Seeing the GI Joe community now versus how it was in the late 2000’s is somewhat jarring, as many of the people who are still around from back then seem to have totally reinvented their tastes. Then again, I don’t go to places like Facebook, so I could be missing out on a lot of the classic, abstract tom-jerkery that people invent to justify their tastes in toys.

For me, the comics and cartoons always showed them together, which is how I like it. Cobra troopers look basic and unskilled, like goons that are just given the bare-minimum and told to go commit crimes. Vipers however have much more sophisticated looking gear and uniforms; Nothing too fancy, but something more than the basic gear of their predecessor. In my head cannon, I like to imagine Cobra troopers as being the more organic, bottom-level enlisted soldiers, while Vipers have better gear and a minimal amount of training and experience. Assorted foreign interests pay Cobra to have Vipers do their bidding, while Cobra Troopers are more commonly criminals of 3rd world countries looking for a few dollars in return for some simple crimes. It’s much easier to move up in the ranks as a Viper, whereas Troopers are usually low-investment, unscrupulous criminals from around the globe.

The colors on the Viper mark somewhat of a change in the brand’s design philosophy. Red, blue and black are pretty well established classic Cobra colors, but the Viper uses red in far higher amounts than the trooper or See-see. Cobra colors were fewer and more solid with earlier figures like the HISS Driver or Crimson Guard, both of whom were bright red, but had more reduced palettes with fewer clashing colors, whereas the Viper is almost 50/50 blue and red. Again, the colors were used before, but the ratio seemed to change around this point giving the figure a bolder, but also less realistic look.

His sculpt is sharp and well done. He has a head roughly the size of any other ’86 release, which is fine, because he’s wearing a big clunky helmet unlike his contemporary Low-Light, who’s head is nearly the exact same size. I’ve always been fond of the torso’s detail and sharpness on the vest; the rest of the sculpt is similarly crisp. The 1986 line rarely had proportions on par with the 1984 line, but the quality and detail of the sculpts were showing steady progress despite the large amount of figures released in this year (Also, I’m conveniently ignoring Lift-Ticket with this statement.).

The Viper comes with a very basic rifle and backpack. I guess that’s an upgrade from the trooper’s one sniper rifle, but still not a whole lot. As far as I know, the Viper’s rifle is a mostly original design, and doesn’t appear to be cobbled together from other sculpts like Ripper’s gun or the Crimson Guard’s. The off-white color shows the detail of the sculpt fairly well, and it’s a nicely designed gun. “Iconic” is overused term in the modern lexicon, but I hold this design up there with Cobra Commander’s pistol, being somewhat the symbolic gun of Cobra. On a passing note, I’ve seen way more Vipers with broken left thumbs than other figures, which I suspect is from people (children?) trying to use the fore grip on the rifle. The backpack is big and bulky, and honestly I dislike it. The rigid look of it’s shape coupled with how badly it throws off their balance has me wanting to reach for any possible replacement any time I handle a Viper. You really only see this part in my photos just for the sake of authenticity, but I really think it makes them look worse.

gi joe vintage o-ring tele-viper 1985 hasbro cobra

The world had no shortage of Viper repaints after this release, with frankly far more of them than I care to list. Of course, the full sculpt with the legs was only intact for the Sonic Fighters Viper and Python Viper after this one. Sitting that aside, the remnants of the Viper mold was released by Hasbro another 9 times until 2006. Some of these recolors were more enjoyable than others, but the sculpt was mostly used to it’s fullest potential. Personally I’ve never even been eager to collect most of these Vipers, as I feel it is nicer to have 40 Vipers in 4 or 5 color schemes, as opposed to 40 Vipers in different colors each. Environment specific Troopers and Vipers were the collecting dream for years, but the law of diminishing returns comes into effect pretty hard here.

Mint, complete V1 Vipers hit around $30, more or less. These days I don’t find that a horrible price to pay, and it’s pretty much in line with the “iconic” army builders of the first few years. At the very least it’s nice these are a tad easier to get a hold of than a mint, swivel-arm Trooper; those not only being more seldom, but also more often in poor shape. Next year the Cobra Viper will be a 40-year-old action figure, given that, it’s not outrageous to pay a premium for such a figure. With that said, the collectible market is still overly inflated, so I think prices will continue to slump over the next few years.

gi joe viper cobra 1986 vintage hasbro

1988 Iron Grenadier

Sometimes, I’m not sure about my ability to separate a character or idea I like from the actual toy it’s applied to. Like with the Iron Grenadier, the elite foot-soldier of Destro’s personal faction, I’m not really sure if the toy is that good or if I’ve just been conditioned to love it from the daydreams I have about him. Of course, the character is kind of part of the toy, which was one of the selling points that separated GI Joe from things like The Corps!. Without getting to deep about it, here’s some happy words and a few photos of the Iron Grenadier.

The colors are really nice on the Iron Grenadier, in multifaceted ways. Going with his elite European profile, the black and red makes him a little reminiscent of a Nazi SS uniform. I’m not sure if that was intentional or not, but this wasn’t too long before WWII mania really set in so there’s that. More importantly, the colors also riff off his Cobra equivalent of the Viper, and directly match up with either version of Destro. Obviously his colors match Iron Grenadiers Destro, but with only silver and gold to separate them, he looks pretty splendid alongside the V1. There’s some amazing consistency there, as I really wouldn’t expect an ’88 figure to look good along side an ’83 figure, but the thematic colors are one of the stronger characteristics of the Iron Grenadiers, as a faction.

I’ve seen the sculpt described as “space conquistadors” and mildly can’t unsee it, but overall I really dig the look of the armor. It’s bulky, and looks like it could take some shots. Paired with his primary weapon being an Uzi, I imagine Iron Grenadiers using a lot of shock tactics without much worry as to their personal harm. The helmet design is really impressive: the fin on top gives it a similar look to knight armor, but also the more ornate WWI European helmet designs*. Underneath that, is an advanced and futuristic looking tactical (Gas?) mask, that combines to form the most defining element of the figure.

*In particular, it kinda looks like a Russian Adrian helmet. I wonder if that was intentional, since Cobra Troopers have helmets sometimes depicted with mildly German styling. Given the conflict between Cobra and the IG’s, perhaps a reference to Germany vs Russia at any given point. That, or a toy designer just checked out a history book on gear, choose it at random, and here I am making shit up 37 years later.

It’s funny how the space-y look of Iron Grenadiers is fairly well accepted, even outside of this figure, whereas the BF2000 remain obscurities hardly touched by any facet of the brand (I think even Classified has continued to ignore them). I think some of that is owed to the fact that the Iron Grenadier is actually a good figure, as well as the face of his own faction (which, you really can’t say about Maverick). I’ve sometimes wondered if sci-fi is just a more accepted theme for villains, but there again the character ties back to Destro, whereas the BF2000 amounts to a bunch of bland Captain Power rejects, who drive MASK reject vehicles. One expands the lore a bit, but the other serves no real purpose.

His accessories are interesting. He includes a gold, sheathed sword, a red pistol and a giant black Uzi. These parts are tied to the character and make him more visually impressive, though none of them are very good. The obvious flaw with the Uzi is that it’s absolutely massive, over-scaled on par with something atrocious like the SAW Viper LMG. It’s also a notorious thumb breaker, so I don’t use the ones that I have and usually opt for a Snake Eyes or Low-Light/LAW Uzi. I also find some flaw in the hip mounted accessories that were popular for a few years, such as this sword. As an adult, it works well enough and figures can be carefully posed with said style of accessory, but I couldn’t imagine playing with something like this. It just falls right off. Of yeah, last but not least is the pistol, which is actually pretty cool. It’s very blocky, but it looks unique and he holds it well, so that’s good. This later became more of a standard Cobra pistol during Battle Corps, included with a few oddballs like the HEAT Viper and TARGAT.

The Iron Grenadier sculpt never got a good repaint besides 4 bootleg versions by Letal Customs. In Brazil he was released as Terrok, with no changes at all. The head was slapped into a Night Viper body and released as a 2005 JoeCon figure. The Letal Customs figures were nice, but he never released more than a handful of them. Given his recent habit of revisiting Cobra Troopers and Steel Brigades over again, it’d be nice if The Black Major would take another stab at the Iron Grenadier. The sculpt still has a lot of untapped potential, and an o-ring version of the fantastic looking POC Iron Grenadier seems more than doable.

Iron Grenadiers price in around $20, though auctions seem fairly inconsistent for them. Joe prices seem to finally be softening a lot, as a few years ago these guys had gotten really pricey. I remember wanting a broken one for a custom and being unable to get even that for less than $30. It’s a far cry from when you could get toys like this for $5, but $20 is a fair market price for an o-ring figure when you consider that’s about what a new TBM figure or ReAction figure would cost. For me, I might go back for a few more at current prices, since my squad is still fairly modest.

gi joe iron grenadier destro 1988 hasbro

gi joe iron grenadier destro 1988 hasbro

Orange swords from the bootleg. Not a perfect swap.

1988 Iron Grenadier Links:

Forgotten Figures

3D Joes

Half the Battle

1993 Iceberg

Something that always struck me as odd about the 1993 Joe line, is the sheer amount of figures released. At a glance, I’m pretty sure there’s more figures released in this year than any other year of the Joe line. There’s so many figures Hasbro even had room to crank out 3 arctic themed Joes in the Battle Corps line, with Snow Storm, Frostbite and Iceberg. I never really saw these figures as a set until now, as it never really occurred to me they came out at essentially the same time.

V2 Iceberg is a competent update to the original 1986 Iceberg. He has a few warts I’ll get to in a bit, but as a design this isn’t a very extreme looking figure for a 90’s release; in fact, he’s pretty mundane. The biggest issue I could see for him is the choice to give him a bright yellow ski-mask. It’s perfectly realistic (save for the color), but still kind of an odd choice to completely obscure his face. In Brazil they even went as far as to sell Pântano as a Cobra, and it’s a role the figure works as. Some people are obsessed with the idea that covering your face makes you a terrorist. I’m fine with masks to an extent,but it has to suit the character. For Iceberg, it’s kind of odd he would suddenly cover his face up when both of his files explicitly state how much he likes the cold.

There’s some belts of bullets sculpted to him now, which would be a cool touch with his original LMG, if only he still had an LMG. Inconsistencies like this always made me wonder how many last minute swaps Hasbro made with accessories. A few are pretty obvious, like Sonic Fighters (AKA Eco Warriors) Major Bludd having the Air Devil’s gun in his card art. Iceberg has all these bullets, but no gun they would be compatible with.

Otherwise, the sculpt is strong and the colors are well within reason. I like this Iceberg a lot, though I rarely have motive to use him outside of going for something odd on the rare occasion it snows. In a few areas his sculpt is probably a little stronger and sharper than the original figure’s, yet somehow he’s still not really all that exciting. To a certain extent, I think arctic Joes fall into a trap of feeling more samey than others, since ultimately it’s always going to be a mostly white figure in bulky clothes. Even older figures like Sub-Zero and Blizzard feel like they cover old ground.

Speaking of that Brazilian repaint, it looks like he got released over there and then the mold disappeared forever. A shame, since the head on a real Cobra might’ve looked pretty cool. The jacket is vague enough too that I could see the whole figure repainted into darker woodland colors like Big Ben’s and making for a decent figure. This Iceberg’s colors are already decent enough, so it’s not much of a loss though.

Iceberg does include some TOTALLY RAD accessories, like a JET POWERED SNOW BOARD! Yeah, although most of the parts are recycled sculpts, they made sure to toss in a brand new snow board, I guess since extreme-sports were just that popular at the time. His other accessories include a pistol and long-barrel uzi pulled from Blizzard, a machete (Muskrat) and a knife (Hit & Run), as well as the requisite missile launcher. It’s a little flimsy, but by far my favorite part of the figure is the snow board. When I was kid the snow Joes flew around everywhere on that thing, it was like the JUMP, just more radical.

A carded figure is worth about $30 and a loose complete V2 Iceberg will fetch about $13. Fairly standard pricing for a ’93 Battle Corps figure at this point, so it sounds about right. This Iceberg really isn’t a figure essential to a collection, but he’s well done and nice to have around. Though, he also doesn’t feel like he has a life much outside of background fodder in a photo.

1993 gi joe action figure hasbro kenner arah cobra Iceberg

1993 gi joe action figure hasbro kenner arah cobra Iceberg

1993 gi joe action figure hasbro kenner arah cobra Iceberg

1993 Iceberg Links:

Half the Battle

3D Joes

Joe A Day

1993 Snake Eyes

Snake Eyes is an odd character to me. I like him, I like thinking about the adventures he goes on. Though, there’s too much of him and honestly, any interpretation of him that disregards the goggles doesn’t appeal to me much. To me, the only real Snake Eyes designs are the original and the ’91 version. So with that out of the way, this Ninja Force version doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on, huh?

gi joe arah snake eyes ninja force v5 1993 hasbro kenner

I should be sentimental and waxing nostalgia for him, as technically this was my first Snake Eyes and one of my first GI Joe toys. I was born right as GI Joe died, so most of the figures I had that weren’t my brothers were bought in ’96 and ’97 on clearance. Cheap left overs or not, I was delighted to have my own GI Joes as a kid, but the scenario somewhat oddly shaped my views on a few things. For me, almost the entirety of GI Joe was a blank slate, where I only knew a couple of characters, and the basic scenario of GI Joe vs Cobra. Over time an occasional Sunbow re-run, Street Fighter II, or a watching of our GI JOE:THE MOVIE recording would influence my world a bit. For the most part, I made up my own characters based on what figures interested me the most.

1993 Snake Eyes was not one of those figures I liked a lot; in fact, I barely remember playing with Spider-Spawn at all. So despite being baby’s-first Snake Eyes, I don’t really have any great memories of him. The Night Creeper and Bushido were far more captivating to me than this Snake Eyes ever was, probably because their sculpting made it a lot more clear what they were, whereas Ninja Force Snake Eyes doesn’t give someone much to go off of. Looking at him now, there’s a lot of detail here I can appreciate in the design, but as a kid the smooth mask and predominately black color didn’t make him very interesting.

Looking past that, the sculpt actually is fairly strong. There’s some nice texturing on his sweatshirt that highlights the body-armor he wears on top of it, without using paint. The smooth battle-mask is kind of an interesting riff on the original look… Though I still think it makes him look too much like Spawn. At a glance, he appears as though he’s covered in copious amounts of grenades like a stereotypical figure of his era, but most of those are small Nageteppo smoke grenades. His assortment of flares, smoke grenades and explosives seems a lot more natural and interesting, than something like Sonic Fighters Major Bludd. Of course, all of this is stifled by that fact that he has a spring-gimmick in both his hips and his arms. I try to look past these as highlighting them is repetitive, but Snake Eyes suffers a lot for how obtrusive his particular gimmick is.

gi joe arah snake eyes ninja force v5 1993 hasbro kenner

Snake Eyes comes with three different swords (One from Ninja Force Storm Shadow, one from Dojo and a curved sword, which was new.), a knife (also new), two claws (’88 Stormie’s), nunchucks (from Nunchucks) and a figure stand, all cast in bright, powder blue plastic. Most weapons from the parts-tree era were just reused sculpts, so I find it odd that Snake Eyes came with two that were new. It’s not an amazing allotment of weapons either way; I wish he had a little blue pistol like the one holstered on his leg. The same set in yellow was included with Ninja Force Scarlet.

On a good day, you can still get 1993 Snake Eyes for around $5 loose, and $15 to $20 carded, with the carded examples proving to be the more common ones. “More common carded” is such a funny idiosyncrasy,as you really only see something like that happen with stuff people were hoarding in droves. In some ways this Snake Eyes is kind of an iconic figure, representing his last outfit in ARAH. Yet, he’s also a really bad figure for the action feature, so that’s probably reflected more in his pricing.

gi joe arah snake eyes ninja force v5 1993 hasbro kenner night creeper 1997

gi joe arah snake eyes ninja force v5 1993 hasbro kenner night creeper

1993 Snake Eyes Links:

Forgotten Figures

Attica Gazette

3D Joes

Joe A Day

Half the Battle

1991 Ice Sabre

 

1991 Ice Sabre GI Joe ARAH Cobra vintage vehicle snow serpent

Reviewing a vehicle where I don’t have all of the pieces, and proceeding to dump on it feels a little bad. For the Ice Sabre though, I don’t mind doing this, because the chin gun and missiles aren’t going to add that much to my experience. Also, between living in the south where I’ll never get more than a few inches of snow per decade, means I’m almost certain to never photograph this thing again for as long as I live here. So let’s get back into the swing of things by once again stating that 1991 was the worst year of GI Joe vehicles.

Among all of the GI Joe vehicle I’ve touched, none are as perplexing and unenjoyable to hold as the Ice Sabre. Armor Bot is unenjoyable to hold too, but it’s appeal is pretty straight forward. The Ice Sabre is not just cumbersome, it’s confusing as to what it’s actually supposed to be. There’s skis, and anti-air guns, and some weird ass rotating cockpit… and that’s basically all there is to it. It looks really busy, but as a premise there’s nothing too exciting going on here. Yet, without having a real interesting gimmick, the thing just flops around wildly if you try to pick it up. It tries to be something more than the WOLF or Ice Snake and fails pretty miserably at it.

1991 Ice Sabre GI Joe ARAH Cobra vintage vehicle snow serpent

The most prominent feature of the vehicle is the 3-man rotating cockpit. As the box describes it: “In seconds, the rotating, 3-man cockpit pivots to place a new, battle-hardened soldier at the controls-” or in other words, a complex mechanical system just for switching drivers. You dump 3 guys into the cockpit and two of them do nothing until one of them needs a nap, which is a pretty bizarre idea. As a toy, it plays worse than it sounds, as there’s nothing really going on in that cockpit. There’s a set of 3 rotating seats, and you can switch them around from the outside using the little orange knob on top. That’s it. Outside of the seats the interior is boring and almost totally devoid of details.

The missile-launcher on the back sucks too. It’s supposed to have some odd gimmick where you can fire a bunch of missiles at once with a little firing pin. I’ve never obtained this piece and don’t plan on it either. The launcher itself is shoddy and broke at one of the connectors just from a gentle touch years ago. There’s a lot of friction placed on the connector posts, which are also rather hallow, so there’s not a lot of integrity in the design.

A prototype exists with a significant number of differences compared to the production toy; so much so that Hasbro even updated the back of the box to reflect this. 3D Joes does a good job of documenting both versions of the box, so you can check that out to see what I mean. Besides a plethora of small changes, metal pins were removed from the front skis and the hinges where my missile launcher broke. Obviously removing the metal made the design much cheaper, and also could explain why those sections are stupidly flimsy.

For better or for worse, it also has a very, very long profile thanks to the skis. The vehicle is narrow and relatively flat, but is closer to 13-ish inches long (didn’t measure it, going by memory). So for something that holds a crew of 3 with 6 more dudes who can pile onto the foot-rails, it takes up a lot of space in return for relatively low play value. Really, this is the biggest flaw with the vehicle is that it really doesn’t do a whole lot. It doesn’t feel as insanely chintzy as the Rat or the Attack Cruiser, but most of it’s play value is focused into the missile launcher and rotating seats, both of which fall flat.

On a good day you can get an Ice Sabre for barely the price of shipping one, so around $10. It’s an obscure and unappealing vehicle like most of it’s contemporaries, so there’s not much demand for it outside of completionists and the oddball 90’s kid nostalgic for it. The one photographed here is my brother’s childhood toy, were it not for that I’d never touch this thing. It’s easily the worst arctic vehicle ever made, and a contender for worst ARAH vehicle. That’s a whopping indictment to make about a vehicle, but this one fails on almost every front. Even the MOBAT (and subsequent CAT), which is a pretty terrible toy, can always fall back on looking nice; whereas the Ice Sabre looks like it was made from refurbished carnival rides.

1985 Rifle Range

1985 Rifle Range

A lost feature among modern action figures is the world building brought by small items like the Battle Field Accessories. These come across as being somewhere in between model accessories you might see Tamiya selling in 1/35, and similar accessory sets that were sold for the old 12-inchers. So, let’s try and hash out a few paragraphs about the the Cobra Rifle Range.

The Battle Field Accessories are pretty self explanatory, as is the case with the Rifle Range; it’s a small set with two targets, a sign, rifle rack, three guns, a barrier and two figure stands. The targets mount into some sandbags, and have a small gimmick where they can be flipped down. That’s about all there is to it, and while I don’t really feel like I have everything I need for a Cobra firing range (some ammo cans and a table might’ve helped), it’s still kind of amazing something like this ever existed now.

Of course, I see why the sub-line only lasted two years: truth be told, it’s a pretty boring item, especially for roughly the price of a figure. I wish stuff like this still existed, but you don’t really get all that much with the Rifle Range. The targets are flimsy and love falling down on their own, and the other accessories just seem somewhat bland. Even as a grown man who loves making little dioramas, I’ve hardly ever used these pieces just because they aren’t really all that much to toss around. The barrier doesn’t look that good, the sign doesn’t have much value, and while the gun-rack is pretty nice, you also only get one, which is pretty lame.

The guns kind of just seem like leftovers from an accessory pack. You get an Airborne rifle, Snow Job rifle and a Grunt M-16 in blue, which is pretty odd since both the boxart and packaging photo show an Officer’s AK-47 in place of the Airborne gun. A very similar gun can be found in Accessory Pack #2, so I guess if you wanted you could assemble your own “preproduction” version with that, though you wouldn’t have the tan figure stands.

It feels wrong for some reason to say this, but honestly I think half of what I have against this little set is just the fact that I like Power Team Elite (AKA: Click n’ Play) accessories a little more. There’s a cool and immersive feeling I get when I take photos of Joes only using their intended contemporary items, which is why my newer photos feature tons of bright, neon guns you used to never see. Using the Rifle Range however, really isn’t as easy as it should be. Part of that’s just because you don’t get enough with it, and another part of that is that is because I can’t disconnect from the notion that the guns would look like stand-ins for a poor person if I used them.

You can get a complete Cobra Rifle Range for $15, which isn’t bad for modern Joe pricing. In my experience, vying for a mint complete set more often feels somewhat impractical compared to just building a complete one out of a few lots and enjoying the extra accessories that come your way, but your mileage may vary. For what it is, I enjoy having it around, and I mildly feel like the Battlefield Accessories are required for the full 80‘s GI Joe experience, but it’s also not really the most dazzling of items.

gi joe battlefield accessories 1985 vintage figure hasbro scrap-iron

cobra rifle range gi joe arah vintage hasbro poc cobra trooper

Trooper Lenny has difficulty aiming at one meter, but within 26-inches he becomes deadly.

1985 Cobra Rifle Range Links:

3D Joes

Joe A Day

1993 Beach-Head

1993 Beach-Head

I’ve always seen a lot of folks react pretty harshly to Beah-Head V2, and to be honest, I really don’t know why. 90‘s Joe had a lot of drastic redesigns, many of which I’m yet to have fully come around on. So having some disdain for the more outlandish V2 Firefly or Mega Marines Clutch makes some sense, but Beach-Head just seems like the kind of figure that still doesn’t get a fair shake.

The biggest thing the figure has going against it, is that he somehow looks a lot like Beachhead while at the same time, looking nothing that much like Beachhead. I have to use the dreaded i-word, but indeed, 1986 Beach Head is very iconic. There’s something about the masked Joes that seems a bit easier to get behind, perhaps their anonymity makes them a bit easier to identify with. Battle Corps Beach-Head doesn’t really change his look that significantly, but the popularity of his original design leaves people sensitive to change I think.

The figure looks really cool, he has what would’ve been a fairly modern helmet design, which combined with the bulkiness of his chest still resembles a fairly modern military operator. Of course, the lower half of the figure is just pulled from V1 Shockwave, but his legs were already great looking, so that does nothing to hold back this figure. The only thing I don’t like too much is the part of his chest under his vest: it’s really smooth and vague looking, and I was never really sure what the sculptors were going for with it. It’s a shame this sculpt never got any repaints, as I think this figure would look really, really good in some modern camo patterns.

In Brazil, they made the colors more saturated and released him with V2 Alley Viper weapons as Armadilha. This character was a Cobra, so with a little imagination you could feasibly pretend the American one’s a Cobra too. I see him as Beachhead, but if The Black Major made some rainbow colored repaints with Cobra markings all over them, I certainly wouldn’t mind that.

For some odd trivia, his legs are all miss-assembled; the left and right feet are swapped. For a long time, I thought this might’ve been an intentional creative choice to make the figure look a little different, but the card art shows his knife is supposed to be on his inner left leg, not his outer right leg. It’s weird, because the yellow-vest version and Armadilha both keep the assembly error. Then again, there’s a knife in the same spot on ‘86 Beach Head too, so maybe it was intentional and the card-art is wrong? No one probably knows anymore.

His accessories are fairly bland. You get a modified version of the Spearhead & Max rifle, a V1 Shockwave pistol, Recoil’s pistol contraption, a knife, a missile launcher and some missiles, plus a stand. Incredibly, the knife appears to be brand new for the 1993 part trees, though it wasn’t unique to this figure. It’s alright for what it is, though rest of the parts aren’t anything to write home about, especially not in bright yellow. The Spearhead rifle wasn’t reused to my memory outside of this, and completely removes the sling.

You can get a complete V2 Beach-Head for around $11, so by modern standards he’s pretty dang cheap. I usually see pricing as a partial reflection of a figure’s popularity, so I think it’s safe to say this Beach-Head isn’t too popular, though most of the non-repaint 1993 figures are kind of cheap like that. I think he’s an overlooked gem, but perhaps you guys can enlighten me on his flaws.

1993 Beach-head gi joe 1993 beach-head attack cruiser gi joejungle-quest_5731743553_o through-the-crevices_4899066275_o

1993 Beach-Head Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

3D Joes

1991 Cesspool

1991 Cesspool

cesspoolI’d argue that the named Cobras of the 90‘s are right up there with the greats of 1984, or at least very close in quality. To me, Cesspool and Interrogator are easily on par with Copperhead and Wild Weasel, and the only real problem with 90‘s Cobras is you only got about two or so new ones a year. Still, the new guys for 1991 are both very good, and here’s some elongated rant on that.

Character wise, Cesspool is preeeeetty corny. Overall, I’d say he’s actually way cornier than Headman in many respects, but it’s the solid character design that elevates him over the other. Don’t get me wrong either way, because I quite like Headman, and I also quite dislike CEO’s, but Cesspool’s just… Stupid? The characterization early on for someone like Zartan or Firefly seemed a lot more intriguing or tangible, whereas Cesspool feels more on the Dr. Robotnik/Rita Repulsa silly end; way more of a caricature.

At face value anyways, the idea of scarred, psychotic former CEO joining with Cobra has some interesting prospects. Mr. D’Alleva would probably have plenty of dirty business ties and blackmail that would put him higher up in the late Cobra hierarchy, which again, is a pretty small club. Focusing on his unscrupulous business smarts makes the character a bit more interesting to me, and also gives him some purpose beyond “Toxo-Viper column decoration”.

The design and sculpt on Cesspool is where he shines. Most prominently is the giant Cobra design on his shirt, which was surprisingly a design motif they hadn’t tapped until this figure. Then there’s his head: the scarring on his face and dead eye is both very sharp and very cool for just how gruesome it is. The rest of the figure strikes me as more of a par for the course Cobra super-villain kind of look, but the detailing is sharp all throughout. The only thing I really don’t like, is the gold plastic used for his right arm, which will probably be prone to crumbling sooner or later.

His accessories suck for the most part. You get the requisite Eco-Warriors water-pack, a gold chain-saw and a gold helmet, with a tiny and easily lost respirator. Worth noting that while similar to the squirt-gun included with Flint, Barbecue and Ozone, Cesspool’s is a unique sculpt. Still, it’s just like those in terms of being cumbersome are difficult for the figure to hold. Would’ve been way nicer if his parts were more consistent with the Sludge Viper and Toxo Viper, but oh well. The chainsaw’s okay, but not really integral to the figure. Finally, his helmet is pretty cool actually, it has a nice design and ignoring the issue with the respirator, it looks fairly well done. Why use it though? Cesspool is almost never shown with his helmet, and the head-sculpt is too cool to cover up. So most of his accessories are the kind of thing you toss in a bin and only keep around for the sake of knowing you have them.

The little respirator pushes a complete Cesspool up towards $40. Sans that, you can get one with the rest of his accessories for $15. Reproduction respirators are out there, which is both an option for “completing” your figure, but also something to scrutinize when buying a figure advertised as complete. For the all the praise I can heap onto Cesspool, it’s hard to say he feels like he’s worth as much as a decent V1 Zartan (last time I checked). Amusingly though, eBay prices are a pretty good indicator of the collecting consensus on any given figure, so I guess going by that Cesspool’s an A-tier Cobra.

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1991 Cesspool Links:

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Half the Battle

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3D Joes

1993 M. Bison

1993 M. Bison

I was reflecting on my early childhood with GI Joe a bit ago, trying to actually recall why I like these toys so much. Being born in 1994 means I didn’t crawl this earth until GI Joe was already gone, though, I got many of my own GI Joes from what was available at Toy Liquidators and Big Lots in the years to follow. It was then that I started to recall some favorites from my brother’s collection: The Street Fighter II GI Joes. In an overall sense I think these were some weaker offerings, but I also have to imagine they played a pivotal role in keeping GI Joe relevant, and maybe the toy industry as a whole. We take them for granted now, but video-game based action figures were not so common when these came out.

GI Joe TV reruns were getting harder to find into the late nineties, which is when a lot of these memories are from. I think I caught some Sunbow episodes a handful of times on USA Network, along with Ronin Warriors and Street Fighter. I realized then, that playing my copy of Street Fighter II on my SNES and watching the show prompted me to probably stay more interested in GI Joe. That is to say, that for me as a kid, GI Joe was this weird catch-all brand that was almost like an action figure adaptation of a morning cartoon block. I had the real GI Joes (the ones I could recognize), Street Fighter, some Ronin Warriors (Ninja Force), and even Sentai/Beetle Borgs (the V2 Eel, who was usually good-guy superhero to me). The point being, that Street Fighter stayed relevant in the 90‘s long after Joe was gone. Yet, because GI Joe was also Street Fighter, it acted as another avenue to keep me twice as interested in GI Joe.

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An head-swap created with M. Bison’s head, a Shadow Guard’s body and 1993 Cobra Commanders legs.

The main issue the Street Fighter GI Joes run into is that most of them have gigantic heads. Often times, the proportions favor the sculpting seen with 1986 figure more so than anything from the 90‘s. M. Bison’s a middle of the road example of this; his head is nicely sharp and not as big as Ken’s, but it’s still pretty big. One time I got curious to make a lazy approximation of the Joecon Black Major figure by swapping M. Bison’s head into a Shadow Guard body. The result looked really cartoonish, possibly because of the more slender ‘85 body sculpt.

The rest of the figure is constructed from the torso and arms of Hardball, and the legs and waist of ‘92 Destro. The Hardball torso is a little slim, but for something made almost entirely of reused parts, I think the little recipe works. Something that really gets me about this figure, is just how attractive the overall design is: The Hardball half keeps him looking military enough to fit with GI Joe, but the Destro half adds a good bit of flair without infringing on Destro’s look too much. Further, the bright red plastic looks really good, especially with the choice details they picked out to paint blue, black, silver and yellow. When you compare him to something like the HEAT Viper from the same year, it’s actually surprising how much paint is featured on M. Bison.

For both the single-carded M. Bison and the blue one packed with the Crimson Cruiser, there exists variants that have the shoulder pad from Road Pig, colored in silver. To my understanding, these are inconsistently glued in the typical vintage Hasbro fashion, where some examples are not glued at all, and others are glued anywhere from lightly to heavily. I don’t have any like this, but I’ve tried putting Road Pig’s pad on him before. It’s a poor fit, and while it does improve the overall bulk of the figure, the asymmetrical design and fit against his head probably takes more away than it gives.

For another bit of interesting trivia, the blue version with the Crimson Cruiser, is photographed on the back of the box with a General Flagg head. Almost all of the Street Fighter Joes can be found with a reused head pictured on the back of the vehicle boxes, which makes me curious if these were rushed a bit.

For accessories, you get the M-6865 tree, shared with ‘94 Metal Head, the ‘93 HEAT Viper, and the ‘93 T.A.R.G.A.T. (and it’s Funskool version, too). So, you get the Annihilator SMG, the Iron Grenadier pistol, the Rock Viper PSG1, missiles and a stand. In addition to this, you get a green launcher (also from the aforementioned HEAT Viper), and a grappling hook with a string you can place in it. Curiously, the grappling hook was unique to the Street Fighter figures and only included with them. I don’t find his accessories to be all that good or essential, though he’s the only figure that has this particular set in black. There’s examples of most of these guns in this color with the exception of the Iron Grenadier pistol, which gives him something a tad unique to enjoy.

M. Bison’s are fairly cheap still. Street Fighter Joes used to not be all that popular at all, but a strong appreciation for these figures has grown in recent years, probably fueled by softer attitudes on 90‘s Joes, and the enduring popularity of Street Fighter, too. So they’re way more expensive now than they used to be, but a complete M. Bison will only run around $20, which what most Joes from that year cost complete. If you don’t care for the accessories, you can get him for about half of that, which might be wise if you’re not looking for your 40th example of a black Rock Viper rifle.

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1993 M. Bison Links:

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1985 Bazooka

1985 Bazooka

Bazooka is a character I almost entirely associate with the cartoon, which I think is probably a common notion. For me, it’s partly because I’ve still not read the comic issues he would appear in, but I don’t think Hama did all that much with him anyways. The Sunbow cartoon doesn’t play a big part in my Joe world; I think it’s well made and I really liked it as a kid, but the comics are way better generally. That preference aside, there’s a lot of things I associate with Sunbow and keep with me, like Cobra La, and probably the Sunbow portrayal of Bazooka, too.

1989 Lynx alt gi joeGoing through my old photos, something that surprised me is just how much I’ve used V1 Bazooka; he’s in a ton of my photos either prominently or in the background. Partly, I think the reason for that is because he shows up well. While bright red figures draw the ire of realists, as a toy there’s some practicality to it. The V1 HISS tank and HISS Driver are great examples of this, where the entire toy is built around making the driver more visible, which enhances the play value. Bazooka’s similar to this, because the red shirt let’s him be seen basically anywhere, and contrasts really nicely with green, a staple color among GI Joe items. For a kid that’s fun, and for my photos I like adding bright colors like this into the background to make the depth a bit more interesting.

Plus, I do think the bright red jersey and baggy pants just look pretty cool. This figure really benefits from the simple design sense of the early line with just enough absurdity to make him a fun action figure. Maybe it’s my late-millennial tastes showing again, but Bazooka’s design seems like something you’d still see in a modern video-game or comic, in the way that it’s silly, but also doesn’t seem to date itself as hard as the more Village People look’n characters. Speaking of music, Bazooka looks like Freddy Mercury, and that guy’s pretty timeless too, so that’s another appeal. According to Ron Rudat, the #14 jersey is a nod to Steve Grogan of the New England Patriots, cool but I don’t know anything about physical movement games.

I love his accessories, which include his signature bazooka, backpack, and a helmet. He doesn’t come with a ton of crap, just the standard three accessories, but I feel the quality of these are particularly high. The bazooka itself has a handle, so that makes it way less cumbersome than Footloose’s. The sculpt on his helmet and backpack are also particularly good: the little fabric folds are nice and sharp, which makes them a tad more interesting than some of the gear from the same year. I’m also glad that between Bazooka and Footloose they added in some smaller, LAW-like bazookas into the line. I watched Death Wish 3 as a kid and always think of that movie’s final scene when I see a LAW like this.

People like swapping Bazooka’s bazooka with Footloose’s. For variety, I like swapping them every now and then too, especially after the strap broke on Bazooka’s proper weapon (it was cracked when I bought it). Though, for a long time I did it as a reference to a variant of Bazooka, that I can no longer find any evidence to ever having existed. Was this a thing? I thought some Bazooka’s legitimately included Footloose’s weapon, but this seems to be another case of the Mandela Effect. It sucks because I always thought this was cool to do, but I guess I should be glad my trivia got retconed in return for the world not ending: John Titor told us about some bad stuff that happened in the other time line, which I guess got subverted when all of those Bazooka’s disappeared from existence. Dang time travelers.

To my surprise, complete Bazooka’s go for a pretty fair amount, usually around or a little more than $20, with some examples surging way past that. There’s no real reason I can think of for this besides that he’s popular and from the best year, which I guess is reasonable. Still, it stings when I go back through my eBay feedback from years ago and see how little I paid for so much.

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1985 Bazooka Links:

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