Tag Archives: Valor vs Venom

2004 Venom Striker ATV

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2004 Venom Striker ATV

If you’d believe it, at one point in my life I felt really bummed out that I didn’t pay more attention to the Spy Troops and Valor vs Venom figures. When I started in on 25th Joes in 2007, I discovered the Dollar General single cards that were still floating around, and went around picking up a small collection of those to play with. They weren’t as good as 25th Joes, but for $3 a piece, I was willing to lower my standards. Checking the net, I saw what seemed like a plethora of vehicles that had by then vacated retail, to my regret. The Venom Striker ATV was something that stood out to me, in particular.

gi joe skullbuster

Yet, I’m not here to tell you about how this was a lost era of great vehicles, actually the opposite: this thing is lame. Kind of. A common argument you see against the 6-inch scale is “But at that size, you can’t have any fun vehicles!”, which I find funny since Hasbro’s hardly produced a handful of decent designs since ARAH died in ‘94. The Venom Striker ATV is a good example of what I mean, as while the design is relatively simple, it’s also inferior in almost every way to a simple retool of the Ferret from twenty years prior.

The two vehicles are similar in a lot of ways, right down to having almost the same profile, at least when you ignore the gunner station of the back of the Venom Striker. I feel this invites more unflattering comparisons than you’d see for something like the Quick Strike, as while that vehicle had a similar design philosophy, it’s also more unique, so it’s harder to point to something from ARAH to show the 2000‘s design’s inferiority.

Many basic features on the Venom Striker ATV seem to be sacrificed in favor of spring loaded nonsense, sound boxes and missile launchers. At the very least one thing I wouldn’t call the vehicle is cheap, as they loaded down with little gimmicks that certainly cost some money. It’s just that the gimmicks compromise almost every aspect of the vehicle. It’s sound box for example, is problematic in multiple ways: One, is that they put a delicate electronic in a vehicle that’s inherently built around outdoorsy play. ATV’s are something I associate with rolling fast through mud and rivers; something probably damaging to the toy’s electronics. Secondly, the underbody of the vehicle is almost a total square: The cool and aerodynamic frame of an ATV is completely bowdlerized here, represented as something that probably has the ground clearance of a forklift. Thirdly, the wheels don’t turn, and there’s no functioning suspension. The vehicle can only roll straight forward, and due to it’s weight, it can’t even roll very fast. Although it’s much more robust than the Ferret, this one quality alone makes the Venom Striker an embarrassing showing.

It gets worse: The gun station in the back is spring-loaded, and can’t even be aimed freely on it’s horizontal axis. It’s also fairly flimsy, and the top half off the guns pop off just while posing a figure on it. Another big flaw is the size of the handle-bars: they’re huge! Even the included Cobra CLAWs can barely hold onto either set of handle-bars, and turret controls are also stupidly far apart on top of that. I was shocked when I first obtained the Venom Striker years ago at just how poorly done the turret is, as it feels like it’s the highlight of the vehicle in terms of design, yet it’s also almost deliberately hampered in such strange ways. Playing with this vehicle is like having a corporate suit standing over your shoulder, micromanaging every aspect of how you use it.

Still, I never knew any of how bad this thing is until just a few years ago. I didn’t pay attention to GI Joe when it came out, and a few years after it was gone, I had only crumby photos on a few sites to judge it by. From that, it looked great, and it jived well with a mind that had played a few too many shooter games featuring fantasy ATV’s with big gun turrets in the back. ATV’s seemed like they were really trendy around the time this came out, which really only further calls into question why the quality here is so poor.

So what’s the Venom Striker ATV worth? What’s it “worth” indeed… You can get a BIN with no trouble for $10, though that’s almost always missing the Cobra CLAWs that came with it. It should probably be worth less than that, but auctions are far and few between. Still, this is a shabby vehicle; I enjoy having it as it brings me a since of closure from a curiosity I had years ago, but otherwise it’s probably one of the crappiest 2000‘s vehicles I’ve handled.

Venom Striker Parade gi joeScrew up gi joe

2004 Venom Striker ATV Links:

None… But if you have some cool photos of it somewhere, you can throw ’em in the comments.

2004 Cobra Infantry Forces Trooper

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2004 Cobra Infantry Forces Trooper

I sometimes have wondered what there is for me to say about the Toys R” Us Cobra Infantry Forces, that hasn’t already been said more cogently by someone with more relation to it as an adult at the time. I was around 10 when this set came out, so perhaps the only thing relatively interesting I could tell you is some oddball kid-gripes that are mostly regurgitated sentiments I’ve shared on other topics regarding 2000‘s Joes. Though I guess other than that, Cobra Troopers are cool as crap aren’t they?

2004 Infantry Forces gi joe

I didn’t buy many GI Joes as a kid. Mainly because I only had enough money to go after one or two toy lines, and for me that was mostly Transformers, Gundam, and ZOIDS (If you remember Zoids, bless your heart.). I didn’t dislike GI Joe either, but it’s lack of contemporary media and questionable retail offerings meant that I never felt compelled to buy new ones when for all intents and purposes, my brother’s tub of figures (along with my small collection of clearance figures) was plenty good enough.

That wasn’t to say I was content with the Joes we had per se, rather, just that the average New Sculpt figure had about as much appeal to me as the worst 90‘s redesign. Swapping Grunt V3 for Grunt V5 is a prospect with little appeal, even then. I knew the GI Joe characters only through Sunbow, which I managed to watch a few times though USA, Toonami and a few old VHS tapes. So the only two things I would want from GI Joe would be the characters I knew, and good looking generics that didn’t need a character, stuff exactly like the TRU 6-packs.

Which is how we get back around to the Cobra Infantry Forces, and why I never bought them as a kid: I never knew about them until they were gone! As egregious as half of them were, these 6-packs were exactly what I wanted from Joe back then. It’s just that I seldom ever went to TRU, so I didn’t even know about these until I saw the stagnant remains of the Green Shirts and Cobra Imperial Procession in late ‘05 or possibly ‘06. I really wanted some generic Cobras and Green Shirts to play with back then, since they were just fun soldier toys and a little more plausible looking than what I had. Instead though, these were made blink-and-miss-it collector items while kids were expected to be more concerned with the likes of Hi-Tech, Coil Crusher and Venomous Maximus.

Anyways, the figures are nice. As far as I’m aware more of the figure is newly tooled than not, as the torso and possibly the legs were new castings based on the original Trooper sculpt. There’s not much of a notable difference besides a bit of bulk on the new one. The arms were swapped for Thunder arms, which was a good choice both for looking the part and also for being some old sculpting from ‘84. Of course, the head is a new sculpt, and in the fashion of the Comic Pack figures, it’s way smaller than the original. It looks weird when you pose them with 80‘s figures, but they’re actually not such a bad match for some of the 90‘s sculpting, which provides a lot of novelty to me still.

The Cobras in the set have some new details, like little patches tampographed on the side of their arms. It looks pretty nice, though I wish they hadn’t done these and the Cobra symbol in such an orange tone. They’re also multi-ethnic, which is pretty cool. At one point I had wanted to collect a lopsided amount of black Troopers, to have as region specific troops in Africa. Never got more than one spare, but maybe one day I’ll go back and do that still. The Officer and Squad Leader from the set have more detail and color variety, though I think the Cobra Troopers may have come out best for taking a simple approach.

Infamously, every figure in the set came equipped with a Rock Viper PSG1 and a SAW Viper backpack. Really, that gun’s not even a bad sculpt, but the excessiveness of giving them to every Cobra Trooper in existence is mildly absurd, I think this is partly what gave the sculpt a bad reputation. It was a lot harder to get decent Joe guns back then, so you can probably thank this 6-pack for Marauder’s Gun Runners even existing today. At least there weren’t any Sound Attack tabs on these.

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There’s an alternate set of head sculpts for these that would’ve had removable helmets. Sounds like a cool gimmick, but they looked way worse for it. The first heads were noticeably more pencil-necked than the ones that replaced them, and the helmets looked really wide and lame. Here’s a Forgotten Figures post on some loose samples.

A large appeal of these figures is that they’ve always been Cobras for poor people, essentially. You can get carded sets for around $50, and loose figures (usually sans the PSG1) for $12. Twenty years in and these don’t seem to be spontaneously degrading like a lot of figures from the period, so that’s something you might not have to worry about. They cost a little less than a squad of Troops from The Black Major, and imagine his figures have probably helped keep prices relatively low on these.

heading-in-on-foot_6129369216_owob-pt2-arahc-major-bludd-2000-version-4_6540850833_ogi joe fred Vii vintage figure hasbro

2004 Cobra Infantry Forces Trooper Links:

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2004 Black Dragon Ninja

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2004 Black Dragon Ninja

The Ninja Cobra Strike Team set from 2004 should’ve probably been Hasbro’s second best 6-pack from the era. Sadly though, poor mold choices, bad accessories and most of all, absolute shit quality control takes what should have been a classic and downgrades it to a mere passing memory. The Black Dragon Ninja here would be great as a poor man’s Ninja Ku, but he barely works as that, though he’s still probably the best figure in the set.

I’m rather salty as to this figure at the moment, mainly because a portion of his heel cracked off while trying to photograph him recently. As someone who likes buying copious amounts of aging plastic, I’ve come to accept figures growing more brittle and yellowing as a part of life. Still, there’s a sense of resentment I have as to just how cheap the plastic was on this set. I’ve already had a Red Ninja Viper’s shoulder crumble for no reason, but now this figure is crumbling too. His heel just sort of exploded while trying to balance him on a peg, flying off into the void never to be found again. It was a weird kind of break, as normally I’m used to taking chances with figures that are way more notorious for being fragile (Slaughter’s Marauders, figures with GPS), but this almost exploded like the plastic was under constant stress.

Putting that aside, the Black Dragon Ninja is a pretty cool lookin’ little dude. Like with Argentina’s Ninja Ku, he uses the V1 Storm Shadow mold cast in solid black. Ninja Ku’s gold details have been swapped for white, brown and silver, so the Black Dragon Ninja is certainly more detailed, though the flesh tone and gold makes Ninja Ku still look far more attractive in my eyes. Oddly, the more monotone white and black of this figure makes me think more of Snake Eyes, maybe in an alternate world where SE joined Cobra as their ninja. That’s gimmicky enough I’m surprised it never happened.

I have some minor quibbles with how the figure looks, mainly stereotypical 2000‘s issues like the flesh-tone on his face being too peachy and the Cobra symbol on his chest being a bit too detailed, but really it’s an excellent looking figure. Truth be told, I think it’s my favorite figure from his set. In spite of all of that, is it enough to overcome the quality issues? This figure isn’t even as old as V1 Storm Shadow was when he came out, yet the plastic is already incredibly brittle. The Black Major ninjas from a few years back weren’t exactly the best quality figures he’s produced, but they already had a leg up on this guy for their paint jobs and accessories, at this point I’m not sure I’d buy any more Black Dragon Ninjas.

Accessories are weird on this one. A major flaw of the Ninja Cobra Strike Team, is that it’s a set themed around Storm Shadow repaints, yet you don’t get even one set of V1 Storm Shadow or V2 Storm Shadow parts. The Black Dragon Ninja has a bag from Agent Faces, the comic-pack M-16, and the 3-piece nunchuk from V3 Snake Eyes. I like the bag and the nunchuk isn’t a bad part, but the M-16 is random. A ninja with a gun can be okay, but why not a suppressed SMG? The M-16 was just lazy. It would’ve been nice if someone here had the original Storm Shadow gear, but hey, at least he doesn’t come with a tiny, non-functioning cupid bow like the Red Ninja.

Like many figures from the 2000‘s, you don’t see Black Dragon Ninjas for sale so often any more. These are usually sold incomplete, but I don’t think any of his accessories are complete (or desirable) so that really doesn’t matter. Last figure that popped up for auction, no accessories, only hit $10, which is a lot cheaper than some of the more insane BiN listings I see floating around. If I saw another one for around $10 I might be tempted to buy it, but if I never do, I won’t lose any sleep over it either.

cobra ninja strike team valor vs venom tru 6-pack storm shadow

cobra ninja strike team valor vs venom tru 6-pack storm shadow

2004 Black Dragon Ninja Links:

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2004 Viper (Python Patrol), Valor VS. Venom

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2004 Viper (Python Patrol), Valor VS. Venom

Filler week! I have some good memories of Valor vs. Venom, but not so many that it’s really worth talking about the VvV Viper sculpt again after I already wrote about the red one, and this guy’s pack-mate, the Tele-Viper (Python Patrol) on another occasion. Yet, here I am, because I ran out of time this week, and I have a couple of old photos of this guy anyways.

I completely ignored GI Joe in 2004. Spy Troops garnered my interest for a bit thanks to it’s fun designs and cool gimmicks, but this was lost with Valor vs. Venom. I had a lot of toys I wanted that year, between getting every last Gundam product I could find at retail and trying to save some out from Transformers Energon, GI Joe didn’t have much of a chance, especially for toys I considered a somewhat pitiful showing. The Valor vs. Venom story line of DNA altered Cobras, plus many of the goofy characters like Coil Crusher and Venomous Maximus, drove me away primarily, but the drab and often boring Joes did nothing to help.

Years later though, I was thirsty for anything GI Joe I could get, and most of the ‘03 through ‘06 figures started to look more appealing, especially once people started dumping off their collections for change. Many of the aforementioned elements of VvV still didn’t appeal to me, but browsing YoJoe! for some hours revealed a number of toys I felt would be more at home in my collection. It also helped that the then current 25th Anniversary Viper was a pretty lackluster figure, so this older sculpt gained a stronger appeal for having normal wrists, and the ability to sit properly.

This Viper is a fun toy, and a good representation of the sculpt. For a guy wearing a helmet, his head is a little small, but the proportions are much more solid overall than what you typically see on releases from this era. He can’t get super-authentic tacti-cool real-military poses, but the feel of the figure is pretty similar to a classic o-ring from ARAH. Right now, I’d love it if they could just go back to selling figures like this at retail, as while GI Joe has put out some great collectibles since ‘08 or so, the New-Sculpt construction was the last time GI Joe was a good toy.

Like many New-Sculpt figures, this guy seems to suffer badly from the cracking-chest phenomena. All of mine have a small crack at the neck now, which I know is common to figures from this era. So far though, a lot of my Comic-Pack guys are still perfectly fine, and many of my other new-sculpts are fine too, so if I had to guess I’d say these are a little worse than average. Between figures commonly yellowing and the neck-cracks showing up, it’s really not fun to collect these any more, which is sad.

For accessories, you get possibly the three most generic parts that were in-use between 2003 to ‘06, that being an AK-47 (with bayonet), a G36 rifle, and a knife. What’s funny about these parts is that they were used so much, I can barely guess which figure first included them, but honestly, with so many uses, they were probably never intended as someone’s special gun to begin with. Why does a Viper include two rifles? An SMG or an explosive-launcher of some type would have been nicer than two guns that fill the same role.

No one does auctions anymore, so finding a few of these guys at a price they’re worth isn’t too easy. Still, even the dealers that only list BiN’s rarely bother asking for more than $8 for one of these guys. You’ll find them in lots and with the Python Tele-Viper often enough for around $20, too. There’s a lot I miss about figures like this one, but sadly it’s really not something worth paying that much money for. Mainly, that’s because there’s a good chance this figure will continue to age poorly and degrade, which they’ve proven to be doing at a much faster rate than the 80‘s figures that are twice their age.

gi joe python patrol valor vs venom viper cobra 2004 2005 gi joe python patrol valor vs venom viper cobra 2004 2005gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003

2004 Viper (Version 13) Links:

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2004 Quick Strike

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2004 Quick Strike

New-Sculpt era vehicles often presented some interesting ideas, but fell flat on execution. That’s somewhat the case with the Valor vs. Venom Quick Strike, which is a nice looking and mildly fun vehicle, though flawed, in several aspects. Generally, these are flaws that could’ve been easily resolved with small design alterations that simply were not made, which makes me suppose the people designing these toys simply were not so invested.

In 2004, Hasbro cared about GI Joe enough to release more than a requisite AWE Striker and HISS Tank for a vehicle lineup. In fact, there were more than 20 vehicles released that year if I didn’t count wrong, which is fairly hard to imagine at this point. Unfortunately though, the 2000‘s were not the 80‘s, and what would’ve been a banging assortment in 1992 was muddled by standardized price-points, obtuse gimmicks and the lack of a creative play-pattern. With a little more wiggle-room, something like the Quick Strike could’ve been a nice successor to the Monster Blaster APC, but such is not the case.

The Quick Strike is a medium-size vehicle with a similar size and profile to the original HISS Tank. It has a maximum capacity of about 6 figures, which includes two in the front cabin, one in each turret, and one on each of the two foot-pegs on the rear of the vehicle (just magically standing there with nothing to feasibly hold onto). The anti-infantry gun pivots both left and right, and can be aimed up and down too. Meanwhile, the lift-up missile launcher is fixed in it’s position, and can’t be aimed at all. Two additional missiles for the launcher are stored at the very bottom of the vehicle in the back (which doesn’t seem very intuitive). It really doesn’t do that much of interest, but it’s also not a very big vehicle, so it’s a little forgivable.

The back of the box describes the Quick Strike as an “Armored Vehicle”, presumably because any designation more specific than that would impart a purpose this vehicle likely cannot achieve. Something I find odd about the vehicles from this era, are their often over-engineered gimmicks that serve questionable purposes, while somewhat failing at more basic things you’d want to do with a GI Joe vehicle. A missile launcher really could’ve been stuffed anywhere else on the vehicle, like hanging off the side or underneath the cockpit, but instead it’s smashed into the rear of the vehicle, where I really would’ve much rather had some extra seats or a computer station. Most of the vehicles from the period are like this, where mid-sized vehicles usually had some kind of towering cannon pop out to fire a missile in one direction, at the cost of virtually any other play feature.

A strong point of the Quick Strike is that it does look relatively good. The sculpt is decent in most places, and it has all the familiar tapestries of a classic GI Joe vehicle, including shovels, tow-rope, hammers, and various other tools strapped to the outside of the vehicle. Personally I think this vehicle is rather photogenic; it fills up the frame really well, and it looks decent to have figures posed around it. It’s simple look and camouflage paint job also help it look decent with older sculpts, in particular, I think it pairs up somewhat nicely with the DEF guys, who never really had a good ground vehicle.

Quick Strikes don’t appear to be as cheap or common as they should be, with complete examples floating between $40 and $50 when you find them. I got mine back in ‘19, and if I recall correctly I only paid around $20 for a MISB example, meaning prices have essentially doubled since then. It’s bizarre to me, since I really don’t think 2000‘s GI Joe has that much of a fan base, I certainly haven’t seen any large amount of individuals demanding iconic characters like Dr. Link Talbot be remade for Classified… So I really have no clue who’s behind the market for $50 Quick Strikes.

gi joe quick strike valor vs venom 2004 vehicle hasbro bazooka apc

2004 Quick Strike Links:

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2004 Red Ninja Viper

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2004 Red Ninja Viper

Most of the TRU exclusive 6-packs from ‘03 through ‘05 were invalidated by the Black Major. Many of these were and still are cool figures, though often flawed in enough ways that a few years of high quality bootlegs could easily replace them. Such is the case with the Red Ninja Viper, as although TBM’s Storm Shadow bootlegs have some quality issues too, these figures are probably even worse. I find novelty value in these figures still, so here’s some paragraphs on what that is.

I was not buying GI Joe toys in 2004, so I missed out on the initial run of this guy as well as all of the other Valor vs Venom releases. I didn’t get to go to Toys R” Us often as a kid, so I didn’t even know about these sets until some time around ‘05. Had items like this been more available to me, I probably would’ve bought them. Back then, I wanted GI Joe figures that looked familiar and somewhat subdued like these, and not the more goofy looking things they were pumping out in the retail line (Venomous Maximus, eww…). That’s not to say I think Hasbro would’ve been better off relying on then 20 year-old molds for the main line, though the direction and overall branding with Valor vs Venom was a mistake that cost them my interest in the line.

The Red Ninja Viper has some pretty snazzy colors. He’s very drab and muddy compared to Agentina’s Satan or TBM’s Red Ninja. I’m sure at the time I might’ve been upset he wasn’t brighter and didn’t blend better with my vintage ninjas, but now I have TBM’s figure, so I can enjoy this guy as something different. It appears he has the same paint masks as the Black Dragon Ninja who also comes included in his set. This picks out all of the mold’s important details and even paints his gauntlet and arm-bands a separate color, which is nice. Also featured in his paint job is some ARAHC-style wash or paint-wipes. I think the figure would’ve looked better with clean plastic, but it doesn’t kill it for me.

The real downfall of this figure is that the plastic quality is complete crap. When I acquired my first pair, one of the figures immediately crumbled at the shoulder. Apparently, these having poor quality plastic is a fairly well documented issue, and it definitely lowers them a lot now that TBM’s figures are floating around. I would probably still be army-building this guy right now, but knowing there’s a chance the figure will spontaneously crumble does a lot to point my interest elsewhere. Feeling them in hand, the plastic is shoddier than even something like ‘97 line, and it wouldn’t be much of an exaggeration to say these are some of the worst feeling figures I’ve ever touched.

For parts, he includes only the bow and arrow from ‘02 Scarlet, ‘93 Snake Eye’s sword and knife, and the curved sword from ‘92 Nunchuck. You couldn’t have found a worse part to give this figure if you tried with the bow and arrow. They’re parts meant for Scarlet’s crossbow, so they look dumb and the figure can’t even use them. A figure like this is hurt for not including the original Storm Shadow accessories, but almost anything else would’ve been better than this. The other parts are okay comparatively, though there’s something to be said for how badly out of place it looks for a figure from nearly the beginning of the line, to be paired with parts from the end.

Red Ninja Vipers seem to hit around $15, usually with some amount of their generic gear (it’s hard to say what a “complete” figure is, since there’s two identical figures in the Ninja Cobra Strike Team, with separate sets of parts). I like the colors on this figure enough that I’m still tempted for more, but the quality being this bad kills that notion for me. Spending that much money on a figure that could crumble just while handling it seems like a really bad idea, especially when TBM figures are out there as an alternative.

gi joe tru six pack hasbro valor vs venom toygi joe tru six pack hasbro valor vs venom toy

2004 Red Ninja Viper Links:

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2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol)

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2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about a New-Sculpt era figure, though as always I know only a very, very small contingent of people still care about these. The modern attitude towards these figures seems to almost represent toy collectors in a nutshell, where the newest, coolest thing renders the old thing obsolete, because the new thing is superior and caters to contemporary trends and interest, only to be made dated and obsolete by the next new thing, which is superior, modern and everything you wanted until the next new thing… It’s an unending cycle of consumerism. With GI Joe, it’s especially pronounced since virtually no part of the brand has had staying-power since ARAH.

Which sort of leads into me implying that the Spy Troops Tele-Viper is actually a fantastic and underrated sculpt . It’s not. The toy has terrible proportions and soft-sculpting to an extent that actually looks worse than the ‘85 Tele-Viper, which is 19 years older than it. His arms are a pair of logs, he has no waist, and the head’s sort of small. It all makes for a figure that looks cheaper than it should be, but there’s still some charm to be had here; just not in the sculpt.

As a toy, the Tele-Viper (in this case, Python Patrol Tele-Viper) is pretty fun. It’s mainly for his parts, which I’ll get to below, but the toy is still playable and has the same basic charms ARAH figures did in the 80‘s. Comparatively, there aren’t very many 1/18 scale figures that are as fun to fiddle with, even to this day. Most of what you see today is collector targeted, making it expensive, fragile, and typically rather drab. Among this figure’s contemporaries, there’s barely anything to make note of besides some crumby The Corps! figures. Spin Master makes the new DC/Batman figures, and those are probably the only modern things I can think of that compare pretty well as toys.

This Python Patrol Tele-Viper has my favorite version of the Python Patrol color-scheme. It’s mostly gray, with a black and red grid pattern on a few bits, and some gold. It’s very drab and muted, but the poopy adult in me thinks it looks pretty good. The prior Spy Troops release of the mold had some pretty punchy colors between the purple and the bright, contrasting details, so a more muted figure is welcome for the repaint.

gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003

His parts are actually cool! I feel like I spend my accessories paragraph typically bitching about Sound-Attack tabs, Rock-Viper rifles, random Ninja Force parts with 80‘s figures and other such problems, but this toy has some okay gear. Included is a microphone, a walkie-talkie, a shoulder radio, a Streetsweeper shotgun, and a pistol. The easily lost microphone feels like an unwanted flashback to every lost mic in the past, but it looks nice on the figure either way. The walkie-talkie is extremely small and not as fun as Firefly’s classic part, but again, it looks okay, and is much better with a figure that has smaller hands.

The Streetsweeper is particularly odd as an inclusion, though I love it and am very glad it exists. In real life this is a somewhat obscure and odd weapon from the 80‘s, originally sold in Rhodesia as the Striker. The Rhodesia tie especially makes this gun interesting to me, since that’s where Major Bludd’s wanted for war crimes. It was later simplified into the Streetsweeper, with several important features removed when it was sold in the US. Because it’s extremely shitty, it found a better life as a prop-gun for movies and the like. The details only seem okay on the GI Joe version of this gun, but it’s nicely scaled and not even too scary for vintage hands; in particular, I used to give it to Motor Vipers a lot as a weapon they could ride with.

You don’t see these left to open pricing so much, but when you do, the figure might fetch $7 at best. It took 90‘s Joes thirty years to present much value on the market, so I’ll be curious if anyone starts to miss Valor vs Venom by 2032. To be honest, I still don’t think there’s that much 90‘s nostalgia, so I’m very doubtful we’ll ever see interest return to these 00‘s sculpts. In a broader sense, most of the nostalgia-driven culture we see today is really just escapism from the bleak reality that is life in the post-millennium. If better times ever come, you’ll probably not see this to such an obnoxious extent.

gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003 gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003 gi joe hasbro vintage valor vs venom 2000's 2003

2004 Tele-Viper (Python Patrol):

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Half the Battle

Streetsweeper at Forgotten Weapons

2004 Crimson Guard

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2004 Crimson Guard

There’s a lot of bad you can say now about 2000‘s GI Joe toys. Namely, the sculpts are weird, the plastics are degrading, and many other design choices were flawed, to put it lightly. Still, there was something highly appealing about having GI Joe figures at easy access, and even a wonky figure like the 2004 Crimson Guard was pretty cool, if only for being a Crimson Guard that was cheap and kind of easy to get.

Something that’s characterized my collecting habits over the years, is that I’ve never had a lot of money to spend on figures. Mind you, this is partly because I never really “grew out” of toys, in the way that most teens do, so much of my early years collecting vintage was done with jobless teenager money. This relates to my view on a lot of 2000‘s GI Joes, where figures like this Crimson Guard had long gone out of fashion with mainstream collectors, and provided a nice, cheap alternative to the pricey ‘85 figure. One of the nice things about the GI Joe fandom being dominated by flavor-of-the-week trend chasers, is that you can get some fun toys cheaply once they’re not cool anymore, as long as you’re a little open.

It goes without saying that this version pales in comparison to the 1985 Crimson Guard, though, it’s still fun in it’s own right. The removable helmet gimmick is poorly done, and features two main issues: the head cannot look left or right and the helmet is awkwardly large. The former issue is hard to forgive, but the later isn’t so bad, as they look fine around a lot of ‘86 Cobras who had similarly huge noggins. The head sculpt is also quite nice, and I’m tempted to call it one of the best 2000‘s heads.

Another huge issue with this figure, is the usage of ‘92 Duke biceps, with ‘92 Shockwave lower arms. It looks completely out of place, and limits the figure’s articulation by a solid amount. What’s even more frustrating, is the amount of alternatives that might’ve been preferable to these overly thick arms. Call me crazy, but I’d go as far as to say ‘83 Gung-Ho arms would’ve been nicer than what they went with. Painted-on gloves might be weird, but the toy would be more functional, and it wouldn’t have been as bad as painted-on sleeves like most Duke’s of the time had.

There’s basically three releases of this figure from around the same time, which you’ll see get used interchangeably in the photos on this post. The first is Agent Faces, who has an orange sigil and a Duke head; the 2004 Crimson Sabotage release, which features a different marking on the arm, and the new head; followed by the focus of this profile, the 2004 release in the TRU Crimson Guard Force set. For the most part, the releases all look the same, with the exception of this figure’s gold Cobra sigil.

For parts, you got a generic 2000‘s customized M4, a ‘91 Dusty backpack, and a helmet. Pretty scant, and a terrible stand-in for the fantastic parts from the original figure. I suppose the Dusty backpack makes them look a little more combat oriented, but it doesn’t suit them well at all. Pretty sure the M4 was just a lazy toss-in too, but if you wanted to give them the benefit of a doubt, maybe it was a reference to how the original Crimson Guard’s gun reused a portion of the sculpt from Airborne’s gun, which was also an M4? It’s lame either way.

Sadly, the days of easily buying these for small amounts of change seems to have long come and gone. They’re still only worth around $13, but you don’t see them so often, not priced like that anyways. Used to, you could easily get this figure for $5, maybe $8 at most, and they were very common. At a higher price though, I feel their flaws are too pronounced compared to a V1 Crimson Guard or a Black Major one.

gi joe vintage hasbro crimson guard cg segie 2004 2005 gi joe vintage hasbro crimson guard cg segie 2004 2005 gi joe vintage hasbro crimson guard cg segie 2004 2005

2004 Crimson Guard Links:

Forgotten Figures

Half the Battle

2005 Frostbite (Valor vs Venom)

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2005 Frostbite

Normally, I might’ve not thought to write about a figure this odd from the New-Sculpt era, but, a brief and sudden snowstorm gave me an opportunity to explore him for a bit to take some snow photos before the snow melted. In hindsight, the so called “New-Sculpt” era comes off as an obscure footnote, paling in comparison to the size and scale of GI Joe in the 1980‘s. Yet, toys like this one were of good quality, and were I given the option to do so, I would use this construction for a revival of the GI Joe brand.

The New-Sculpt style of figures was flawed, but in ways I think it would be ideal if Hasbro went back to this construction style.Ultimately, this was a modern take on the classic o-ring construction, which meant that the figures had similar function and playability. Compared to the 25th/Modern style figures, these were much less fiddly and were functionally more consistent. The later construction cemented GI Joe as a collector’s line, which has ultimately lead us to the current moment. While articulation and functioning-gear gimmicks like removable pistols and vests are good, it’s imperative that the toys retain the overall function and play pattern that made them popular at the line’s peak moments.

As for Frostbite, the design lacks character in certain regards, but overall is a good quality figure from this period in time. The proportions are quite good, and the sculpt has the right amount of detail as well. The main problem with the figure is that he’s generic and lacks the character of V1 Frostbite. Looking at his head sculpt which lacks his distinctive beard, you could just as well say he’s some Viper as much as he is Frostbite. Touching back on my earlier point, I feel like this figure represents a problem with the era, in how it demonstrates this style of construction at it’s best; while also demonstrating the line’s overall lack of character and identity.

The accessories are a bit curious, but in general I’d consider them fun. He includes a snowboard, missiles for the snowboard, a riffle, a gauntlet communicator, and a paintball gun, oddly. Most of these parts seem pretty standard, although nice overall. As the first instance of this paintball gun, I feel like it’s inclusion is worth commenting on. It’s a fairly nice part, but why does he have it? What does he do with it? I can’t really think of anything besides just that paintball was popular at the time. The rest of his parts are decent, the snowboard in particular is quite good. Besides being able to mount the missiles on it, it has adjustable foot mounts that add extra playability to the piece. The fact that the parts are fun and relatively unique to the figure does a lot to elevate him over many of his contemporaries.

There’s a variant of this figure for whatever it’s worth in the form of the 2008 single-card release. Like all of those figures, slight changes were made to the paint colors, such as his goggles, skin, and most noticeably the camouflage on his legs. It’s pretty insignificant, and of course the 2005 release is objectively better for including parts, though, it is very interesting to see how much a figure can change between production runs that are only a few years apart.

New-Sculpt figures aren’t valued by collectors, and this is reflected in the price of figures like Frostbite. If you hunt, you can get a complete Frostbite for a handful of dollars, but, it does seem that that would require some hunting now. Like with many figures from the Valor vs Venom line, only a handful ever seem to be on the market at any given time. If you wanted to represent this period in you collection with the best it had to offer, Frostbite’s a figure worth tracking down.

Gi joe frostbite valor vs venom 2005 2004 Snow Wolf Cobra vvv vintage hasbro
Gi joe frostbite valor vs venom 2005 2004 Snow Wolf Cobra vvv vintage hasbro

2005 Frostbite Links:

Yo Joe

Joebattlelines

General Joes

Forgotten Figures: Rarities – Unproduced 2002 – 2005 New Sculpt Figures

2004 Big Brawler (Version 4)

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2004 Big Brawler

Big Brawler’s a name pretty infamous to Joe collector’s who were around in the early 2000‘s. At best, I think he could sort of be described as a meme that represented the low-quality characters that were being created at the time. Some collector’s even seemed to feel somewhat insulted by the character. With that said, there’s some value that can still be gleaned when Big Brawler’s figures are taken at face value.

This particular Big Brawler reuses the part recipe and paint masks from the Tiger Force Big Brawler who came out the year before. In fact, many of the colors are the same as that figure, with the major differences being the color of his shirt, skin, and hair. Clearly, the figure was designed as a part of a set that was meant to be budget priced, and the fact that he’s not changed more can be easily overlooked. Back then it might’ve been less acceptable, but it 2019 without the other figure in my collection, I don’t mind.

His main fault as a figure is that the character is junk, and the paint is just a tad too limited. Particularly, the unpainted bullet belts on his legs just leaves a lot to be desired. At the same time, as he is essentially just a repaint of Salvo, it’s nice to see that Salvo didn’t become yet another ARAH mold that would be forever without a repaint (ignoring the other Big Brawler and Balrog). Of course, I think Salvo is superior to any color variant of this Big Brawler, but it’s still nice for the variety.

BIG BRAWLER started out in Army Intelligence before he was tapped to join the G.I. JOE Team, bringing an impressive catalogue of specialized skills and talents. Equally at home in dense tropical undergrowth as he is in concrete urban badlands, he has survival and observation abilities on a par with jungle cats and feral street criminals. Proficient in small arms, squad-level infantry weapons, and platoon support weapons, BIG BRAWLER also holds rank in several martial arts disciplines. Trained as a psychologist and having participated in several military psychological operations, he knows that as good as you are with a weapon, you can’t win a fight unless you can think three moves ahead of your opponent, and then have a surprise for him!
“Never start a fight you can’t finish, never drink water that a purification tablet won’t dissolve in, and always brush your teeth when you’re in the jungle!”

In other words, Big Brawler’s good at everything he does, and is trained and educated in everything. Also, he’s a psychologist… Man it’s not as bad as his original Rambo-wannabe bio, but this file is just dumb. It also really leaves Big Brawler without too much of a purpose, and definitely as a character to improvise with. I can’t think of much to do with him at the moment besides having him man vehicles and act as squad filler in dioramas.

His only accessory was a silver version of the customized M4 we saw around a few times in the New Sculpt era. It’s actually a pretty nice part, but it’s also extremely generic. I don’t feel like it does much to accentuate a character in need of some added appeal.

I’m having a hard time pricing this version of Big Brawler. I think I got mine in a lot about a year or so ago, but I really don’t remember anymore. And other than that he’s another bad victim of the GI-drought, where there’s nothing showing up on eBay routinely enough for me to say “that much.”. So I’ll assess the figure like this: The character is terrible, and the figure is mediocre. But he’s not badly colored and has the cool novelty of being one of a few Salvo repaints. So if you see him somewhere, he’s a decent addition for around $8, but at that, it’s a figure that any collection could do without.

Gi joe Big Brawler 2004 Valor vs Venom VAMP Toys R Us Exclusive GI Joe ARAH Spy Troops
Gi joe Big Brawler 2004 Valor vs Venom VAMP Toys R Us Exclusive GI Joe ARAH Spy Troops

2004 Big Brawler Links:

JoeADay

Half the Battle

Yo Joe